China

I apologise to anyone I alarmed last week i.e. my family. I am not dead. I didn't have regular access to the internet which makes it even harder to keep in touch with people, especially when you're as crap as me.

I arrived in China 2 hours ago after a 24 hour train journey from HK. Not exactly thrilling although I did catch up on some very important Marie Claire reading, eating pot ramen (noodles) and 12 hours of sleep.

It was dead hard saying goodbye to Kilby in HK. I really feel like I have left Japan and I feel stranded and lost. I hope that I will feel better when Seth gets here in a couple of hours :-)

HK

I'm in HK and it's all been good so far. Haven't been too sad yet as it feels like I'm on holiday. Will be weird when Kilby goes back to Japan and I'm on the train to Beijing. FOund out that the train was for 24 hours yesterday. Bugger.

Going to watch 7 Swords today. Staying in Kowloon which is dead weird as I don't know this side at all and it's so different to HK island.

HOpe you are all well and am missing all of you in Japan soooooooooooooo much.

Sayonara nippon

I'm sat in HK airport and it's all a bit surreal. I left Yamaguchi this morning at 4.45am. I can't believe I've left japan forever. Am sad, shell-shocked, in disbelief, and numb.

Last night in my flat

It's the last night in my flat and I'm having mixed feelings. I'm so happy that I have finished packing and cleaning. My flat is beautifully clean and was finished ahead of schedule so managed to fit in some karaoke with Mucchi and Laura tonight. I have a few things still hanging over my head, but all in all, I'm pretty much ready to leave.

It feels a bit like when I finished my finals at university. It will be so weird to go shopping tomorrow morning. After a months of cleaning, packing and rushing around, I've forgotten what it feels like to just mong around.

I applied for a job in connection with JET on Wednesday. I heard from the lady yesterday which you would think would be a positive sign. But, she was asking when I'd be back in England. The job starts on the 1st September and I don't get back until the 8th. Arse. Yeah, so she replied saying that they don't do telephone interviews and that she'd be in touch if the job is still available when I get back. Bugger.

Yeah, so you see, sad, happy, at a loss, annoyed, frustrated, lonely, odd.

My car

As I write, Toby's adoption is in process. The paperwork is being filed and from 4pm today, he will no longer be mine.

お疲れ様でした、トービ君！

最後だ。

Today is a monumental day.

It's my last day in kencho and my last day working in Japan. Plus, I get my last pay packet today. I am officially unemployed from tomorrow.

Weird.

it's only 9am but...

I've been up for what seems like hours. I was determined to be good and drive home last night. Obviously, that lasted all of two minutes and I ended up drunk at Seth's at 1am after the party yesterday. My keitai (mobile phone) died on me so I had to ask Seth to set his alarm for 6.30am. But, I didn't really recognise the alarm this morning so just rolled back over.

At 7am I woke with a start and made Seth drive me to my car at Golden Bowl. I then pegged it to Yamaguchi where I ended up having loads of time. I left for work and then realised I had left my speech at home. So I had to turn the car around to get it.

Got to school with time to spare, did my speech and all was good. 40 minutes after getting to school, I'm sat back at home - I do have to go back in for ESS (English club) though.

I just feel like a zombie.

Off to do more fecking cleaning and packing.

Houfu Soubetsukai (farewell party)

I said goodbye to many people I love today. It was hard as people left at different times so it meant I was constantly in tears. There was some laughter of course, especially when Youko grabbed her head and said, "Landi's tits, Landi's tits" - meaning Landi's tits were the same size as her head.

I know that not many people from Houfu read my blog (although I did find out that Fujimoto-sensei does now - gambatte, Fujimoto-sensei), but to those of you who do, thank you so much for making me a part of your life these past two years. I am genuinely sad to be leaving you.

Tim and Youko-chan, thank you for looking after me when I first came
Mucchi and Tim, thank you for feeding me so much in Yamaguchi
Satoru, thank you for being my otou-san and ashi-kun
Fujimoto-sensei, thank you for all your guidance and for being a friend
Laura-chan, thank you for sharing so many firsts with me

Right, I'm off to cry myself to sleep, the big woos.

Worked like a bandit

I had two meals today. Spartan for me and boy, did I earn them.

Spent about 5 hours packing and tidying in the day and then joy of joy, lucked out and found out it was moenai-gomi day (non-burnable rubbish). So, spent 3 hours sorting through all my rubbish and got rid of so much stuff. I just had sweat pouring off me. Nice.

I'm knackered but am just soooooooooooooo happy that it's one less problem off my mind. I was starting to worry about all the junk lying around.

Otsukaresama-deshita, Monsieur, le voyeur.

Mucchi and Tim's Wedding

No, not Tim that never leaves Hofu. He's little Tim. Big Tim got married.

So I went to my first Japanese wedding yesterday. I decided at 10.30am that my work dress wasn't good enough so I made a dash for the shops. I was supposed to be at Hofu Tenmangu at 12.30pm. I'm such a dumbass.

The wedding was so cool. My mate, Mucchi had on all the traditional clothes and was having so much trouble walking. Felt really bad for her because she looked liked she'd been rolled in a white sleeping bag and left to flail about in the sun.

The reception was a lot more emotional than a western wedding. Lots of speeches and stuff and crying all over the shop. The mothers were given bears that weighed the same as Mucchi and Tim did at birth. Think that bit sent Laura over the edge a bit.

Mucchi looked beautiful. It was strange though because she was acting all demure. I expected her to shout out, 'So fucking hot' at any moment.

4 more parties to go.

Tori-chan

This one's for you, Tori-chan.

The Final Stretch

I'm tired.

I had a farewell party last night, Tori's leaving do tonight, Mucchi and Tim's wedding tomorrow, packing and cleaning Monday, a farewell party in Hofu on Tuesday, a farewell party with work on Wednesday... it goes on.

I just feel like tonight is the big deep breath before I go under water and the world becomes all cloggy and blurry before I emerge again on the 27th with my bags at Fukuoka.

I could open a shop

This is a summary of my J wares I have to take home:

2 ornamental fans
2 sets of yukata
3 pairs of geta
an assortment of pottery
Yamaguchi dolls
shodo set
taiko drumsticks
Children's Day ornamental dolls
a Hello Kitty lamp

Thank you, Japan.

Said goodbye to another school today and got a lovely yukata as a sayonara gift. I got genuinely choked at the end of ESS today because I'll really miss the girls. I'm finding it more and more tiresome and draining to say goodbye to people.

Yes, it is sad that I'm leaving.
I'm taking the Trans-Mongolian home.
Yes, I know it's strange to get to St. Petersburg and then fly to America.
Watch TV and sit in my pyjamas.

Sorry, switched onto autopilot there for a minute.

Laura accused me of being sentimental today and maybe I am. But, I think the reason I boo so much is not so much because my schools are irreplaceble, it's more that saying goodbye to them is tangible evidence that my time here is running out like quicksand.

If I were a boy...

If I were boy, what kind of willy would I have?

If I were a boy, I'd like to think I would have a mahoosive schlong.

But,

I think that if I were a boy,

my willy would be

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm not crazy. I was debating this with a friend.

What you chinpo is?

Parting gifts

I got two gifts today.

One was a carefully hand-crafted plate, fired, glazed and painted with a profound message in beautifully written kanji complete with display stand by my teacher.

The second was a tub of vanilla ice cream from Lawson's.

I know which non-heavy present warmed my cockles...I'm so ungrateful.

Pathetic fallacy

So the rain has kicked in. It's bleak and grey outside and it echoes my mood. I woke up this morning feeling groggy and confused as my schools have been changed round this week. Plus, it's my last day at this school so I had to get up earlier than usually to get to the teachers' meeting to do my speech.

As I was showering with my eyes closed - it burned to keep them open - I had a はじめて　(first), one week before leaving. For the first time since coming to Japan I couldn't wait to get out of the country. The thought of another two weeks of goodbyes, enkais, goodbyes, packing, goodbyes, cleaning, goodbyes, flogging my wares (easy, tigers), trying to see everyone before I go, goodbyes, giving speeches, goodbyes and more goodbyes just fills me with dread. It just turns me a nasty shade of 青 (blue).

The packing saga continues

Jenny's secrets to packing

1) vacuum-pack all your clothes
2) put all your stuff in a big plastic bag befoe putting it into the box
3) stick newspaper in the small gaps so that stuff doesn't get damaged
4) put photos and their negatives in separate boxes in case a box goes missing
5) half all your stuff and put it in different boxes

I have either found my niche in life or I'm just anal.

Neal's mouth

Oh, I forgot to say that when I pulled my fist out of Neal's mouth, it was covered in gross bubbling stuff. He swore that it was "spit" but I don't know.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Choose carefully the mouths in which you put your hands! Do not let me sacrifice be in vain.

I thank you.

Packing and school

I said goodbye to my first school today. All the teachers except 1 walked me out to the front entrance. It was an awkward moment, worsened by the fact that I insisted on hugging each of them.

As I was driving out of the car park, the last teacher ran out in front of my car to say goodbye. I jumped out of the car and gave her a hug, too. Needless to say, it was fairly hairy driving down the hill through the blubbering fog.

*** *** ***

I suck at packing.

I had three half-packed boxes. After finishing work 3 hours ago, I have managed to:

Unpack one of the aforementioned and...
put half the contents into another box.

For those of you like me who aren't great with numbers, I have consulted a calculator and scientific ascertained that I now have four half-packed boxes.

At this rate, I'll be ready to move out on 23rd April 2006.

Weekend

On Friday we had our Leavers' Ceremony.

And "Yeah, show me the money, baby yeah!!!!!!"


Bugger. Just erased all that I'd written...hate computers...


Anyway, so we got a wee bit of money and then I had to do a speech in J-go and English which was on TV apparently. I was dead nervous. The J-folk seemed to find it strange that I'd talked about squat toilets.

In the evening, we went to the Big Red lantern, Suzy Wong's (which is just like a bar at home), El's Ditch (the "Irish" pub), and then karaoke for 3 hours with nomihoudai (all you can drink). Yeah, got to bed around 4 am. zzzz

Saturday was another whirlwind of a day. Paul and I made, well, Paul made and I approved stuff, a CD of songs that our friends like to sing at karaoke and then we had to help assemble the JET magazine, zenzen. I was a dumbass because we were missing one page, so we went through all of them and couldn't find it. We then realised that I'd made a mistake and I'd said page 40 instead of 38.

Watched the Stars Wars episode 3. OH MY GOD! Leia and Luke are brother and sister!

In the evening, we had the leavers' party. I stuck my fist in Neal's mouth whilst Eleanor and Selene plugged his ears and nose. It was an experiment to see if he'd explode. Negative.
I found out I have to work on 3 things: numbers, irony and science.

I want all my friends to live in the same country and not move around.
Farewell parties - party cool, farewell suck-su

London bombings

I have spent the evening watching BBC world news as the aftermath of the London bombings are being beamed across the globe.

I do not and will never understand what motivates terrorists to strike out against innocent people whom they have never met. Not only do they take away the lives of the victims, they also create a ripple effect which stretches out to family and friends.

I know the reasons why they do it; I just do not understand how they can do it.

Time warp

So, as I said, I've discovered MSN and Skype. Tonight for the first time, I skyped my youngest sister, Chris oh, and Borat was there, too.

Things I learnt:

1) I can instant message two sisters, look at one via her webcam, talk to both but not have them reply because neither has a microphone, send dancing images, receive stuff from Paul straight into my hard drive and apply for a jo... yeah, actually didn't do that bit...all at the same time

and

2) My sister is actually nearly 16 and not 12

which begs the question, how long have I been away?

Fat bastard

That's me.

I had two dinners tonight. I went to tanpopo and had miso soup, rice and ginger pork (teishoku - set dinner). Left the skank-mono. (Gross, pickled, multi-coloured stuff they always give you).

Then had cottage pie with broccoli, crisps and ice cream.

Gochisou-sama.

naughty gaijins

A random party of 30 foreigners descended upon La Francesa on Saturday night. That in itself would have been a sight in the sleepy town of Yamaguchi, but the aforementioned foreigners were dressed in a shocking array of colours in traditional Japanese dress. This was followed by much drunken rowdiness in Murasaki and then karaoke.

Great fun for us, no so much for the J-folk.

Highlights of the evening for me:

1. Neal-sama swaggering in in his Sean Connery-style dressing gown
2. The waitress at poncy La Francesca looking aghast as Classy northerner, Tom-the-monkey-dancer-Rogers swigged back the remnants of a bottle of rouge as I was shooing him out
3. Random J-bloke swigging back a pint of chu-hai (alcopop) when I told him that for foreigners, it's the winner of any drinking game has to down the drink
4. Ichiro waking up, singing J-rap song, Shanghai Honey and then going back to sleep again
5. The rain - yeah, not so much

Butchering

went out with Chris Butcher, Tom Butcher, Ree Butcher, Dan Butcher, Brucey Butcher and Reather Butcher tonight. Or rather, Chris invited me and then told we I could come if 'I really wanted to too'. To those of you staying, they are ABUNAI! (dangerous for my chickies at home).

Went to a restaurant near Shin Yamaguchi tonight. It's near the big hotel on the shinkansen side and has a green sign. It's a seafoody type place and it was spanking gorgeous, just like a pot noodle.

I should become a food critic and start a daily log although, it'd be like my blog except I'd get paid for it.

I have the wrong job.