I need to put my top back on for a minute

The last five days have been brutal. We're trying to train our boys to breastfeed, which is no mean feat as they have little mouths and prefer the speedy bottle - true New Yorkers!

The lactation consultant suggested we breastfeed each boy and follow it up with Bottle feed and then back on the boob again. That's every three hours and I still need to pump milk in each cycle too.

The boys are like their mother and get super hangry. This has meant that we have had to start each feed with a small amount of milk from the bottle to take the edge off before we followed the suggested routine. So to recap, that's bottle, boob, bottle, boob and then pump x two little boys. I am broken.

In defiance, I am sitting for 10 minutes fully dressed. So that I can reclaim some semblance of adulthood and just being me. For 10 minutes I'm not a maternal feeding machine.

Now I'd better taken my top off again so I can pump before the boys need feeding again.

A jaunt

On the boys' one month birthday, we went for a walk. The Boy and I have never been morning people so going for a walk before 8am is under of. What I've learnt is that there are some strange folk out at that time. And that a simple stroll to the park takes a long time with newborn twins. Like a really long time.

We were peacefully eating our pain au chocolates when this guy walks purposefully towards us. Instinctively, the Boy and I defend our tank, he protecting the front end and me making a beeline for the steering wheel.

The Cray-cray says to me, 'why do Asians always look down on us Americans?'

As a fellow Cray-cray, I respond, 'I'm sorry, we're Brits.'

The Boy was baffled by the exchange, but the random Cray-cray was accepting. 'Ok, thank you very much.' He responded, and walked off.

The life of new parents.

Pumping and Feeding

This is a rant about pumping, breastfeeding and lactation consultations. Unfortunately, I have just 2.5 minutes before I'm done pumping and can go have a nap before the feeding cycle repeats so this will be short. I hate:
The pressure to breastfeed
The non joined up way that post partum staff and lactation consultants work
The lack of bedside manner of one particular lactation consultant who told me I was pumping enough when I was juggling my time between the Nicu, home, recovery from a c-section and pumping. I just cried my eyes out then and there (apparently, you need to pump every two hours)
How much my boobs hurt
How much time I'm spending in my underwear
How the twins are finding breastfeeding too much hassle

The list goes on but sleep is more important.

Two Weeks

I'm two weeks post partum and an gradually getting less fat. I'd at I'm about the same size as I was when I was 15-20 weeks pregnant. Still can't see my toes, mind. It's really hard to tell when women have actually had their babies. We still waddle, though mainly because of the pain and there's the size issue, of course. The only giveaway is usually the baby, but I haven't had that, do I've gone back to 'congratulations! How many weeks are you?' It makes a nice change from, 'any day now!'

Going backwards and forwards to Nicu has been tough going. There's the prepping to get ready for a few hours there, the travel and the few hours a day where I'm just holding the boys so not getting much else done. The last few days have been more clinical; trying to breastfeed and then pumping. (The boys still need to grow into it!) Whilst not nearly as nice, at least there's less chance of falling asleep.

The weather has been heavy and oppressive and I was struggling with the sleep, pump, hospital routine. So i made myself take 45 minutes to reconnect with the world. I was a member of society again and it felt good. Ok, my companions on those park benches were two sleeping, homeless guys, a smooching couple, and some tourists, but I was part of their day at least. It made me feel better and postponed NY googling for post partum depression for another day.

Last night, the Boy and I, and our friend, K, went out for a meal. I was beyond excited, and was pumping minutes before leaving the house so I could maximise my time. The excitement was punctuated with extreme tiredness, but it was so good to be proper grown ups. I came home and went straight for a nap, of course.