Two Weeks

I'm two weeks post partum and an gradually getting less fat. I'd at I'm about the same size as I was when I was 15-20 weeks pregnant. Still can't see my toes, mind. It's really hard to tell when women have actually had their babies. We still waddle, though mainly because of the pain and there's the size issue, of course. The only giveaway is usually the baby, but I haven't had that, do I've gone back to 'congratulations! How many weeks are you?' It makes a nice change from, 'any day now!'

Going backwards and forwards to Nicu has been tough going. There's the prepping to get ready for a few hours there, the travel and the few hours a day where I'm just holding the boys so not getting much else done. The last few days have been more clinical; trying to breastfeed and then pumping. (The boys still need to grow into it!) Whilst not nearly as nice, at least there's less chance of falling asleep.

The weather has been heavy and oppressive and I was struggling with the sleep, pump, hospital routine. So i made myself take 45 minutes to reconnect with the world. I was a member of society again and it felt good. Ok, my companions on those park benches were two sleeping, homeless guys, a smooching couple, and some tourists, but I was part of their day at least. It made me feel better and postponed NY googling for post partum depression for another day.

Last night, the Boy and I, and our friend, K, went out for a meal. I was beyond excited, and was pumping minutes before leaving the house so I could maximise my time. The excitement was punctuated with extreme tiredness, but it was so good to be proper grown ups. I came home and went straight for a nap, of course.