Banking ridiculousness

I noticed two charges on my bank statement yesterday. I go to the bank, where my bank manager knows me really well now. In fact, he knows my whole back story and I don't need to tell him anything or show him proof of ID or any of that nonsense.

They charged me $12 because I didn't maintain a daily minimum of $1,500 in my account or pay $25 in general bank charges or deposit a minimum of $500 a month (apparently, as my pay was sent via wire transfer, it didn't count as a deposit). The other way I would have avoided the $12 fee was to have savings of at least $15,000!

The second charge was $15 to receive the wire transfer. It's incredible that banks charge so much money for basic services. They still charge when you use other banks' cash machines, for instance. Is it not enough that they make money from holding our money; from charging us interest; and from penalising us for making late payments?

In fairness to my bank manager, he did waive my $12 charge, but would he have done the same for someone on minimum wage, struggling on a daily basis? Mine was a blip, he said, so let it slide. Yesterday, fast food workers demonstrated in Union Square against the rate of minimum pay in this country. Supersize our wages!

In a city where a bottle of run-of-the-mill body wash can cost $10, how can someone survive on $11,000 a year? I remember reading about fast food workers being sent home during quiet periods. They are expected to be on call, ready, waiting, to earn minimum wage, as contracted workers without protection.

I count my lucky stars every day that a bank manager will look at me and be happy to waive fees as he knows I'll be good for it. I also thank my 'posh, respectable' English accent. Life is such a lottery.
 

Jet lag is like...

- When you come out of the cinema at 4pm and it's still light outside and you feel wrong all day.
- When you've been drinking in the daytime (read morning) and your hangover kicks in at 6pm.
- When you're a little kid and you don't really understand what's going on.
- When you just feel foreign.

I don't really understand why I'm constantly hungry. I'm guessing it's because my body thinks it's five hours ahead whilst my head thinks it's five hours behind, as I went to bed and got up at local time. Thought I was onto a winner by falling completely into the right rhythm but apparently not.

Just feel uck.

Fat Cow

Things I've ingested since arriving in the UK:

- Obligatory lunch items from M&S (we should so have bought shares years ago). Highly recommend the poached salmon, prawn, dill and poached egg thingy on flatbread
- Seabass with samphire
- Cornish pasty
- Rack o' ribs
- Sunday lunch with all the trimmings
- two fry ups
- Chinese take away, including Singapore rice noodle, prawn balls, and duck and plum sauce
- Fish and chips
- Lobster
- Summer rolls and beef pho
- Drinks at Mr L's (maybe a couple of visits), plus maybe one or two other drinks
- Lasagne
- Vongole and Portuguese custard tard
- Pork belly and whitebait
- Bangers and mash
- Mexican prawn salad (Finally, some vegetables)
- Thai pork belly and spring rolls
- The best croissant from the Albion with a strong, strong coffee
- A Turkish mixed grill
- Pizza
- Duck two ways: duck breast and confit leg
- Sticky toffee pudding
- To come, dim sum!

Tis the person rather than the country, so apologies to the US of A for slagging off your dietary habits. Can't wait to get back to get in some fat-free sushi and some healthy home cooking. Who'd have thought it.

Catching up with folk

I have decided that trying to catch up with big groups of people when you're home visiting is a bad idea. You end up spending 10 minutes with each person, regurgitating the same facts. The 51st person to whom you speak really does get a bum deal. You are lacklustre and the sound of your own voice bores you to tears. I think that should I contemplate catching up with friends like this again, I will either a) shoot myself or b) make up a different story for each person; whilst it wouldn't be true, at least both parties might be marginally entertained.

Tonight was a great night. The Boy and I caught up with members of our families and I came away feeling happy. The success factors (always good to debrief after a positive night out):
1) catching up before meeting in person;
2) a smaller group of people, meaning that you can look at everyone in the group at once; and
3) the opportunity to talk rubbish, which doesn't involve NY or catching up i.e. mainly ripping the piss out of each other.

This contrasts markedly with our big get-together on Thursday night when I felt like the worst friend in the world. Speaking to a friend for the first time in the evening as they are leaving is not cool and neither is finally speaking to a friend for the first time at 11pm even though they've bought you a drink.

Once again, I am so sorry to my dear friends that joined us. I am rubbish.

Thoughts on Being Home

I have a spare 10 minutes for another crazy day so I thought I'd a quick summary of my thoughts of being back home. Stupid things have made me wonder and question whether UK life was always this way, namely, have the tube seats on the Bakerloo line always been as grubby and if so, why haven't I contracted an incurable disease yet.

Anna Banana also felt the brunt end of my stupidity last night. When everywhere takes 20 minutes to walk to in NY, your memory of distance in London also changes. Old Street to Lower Marsh, Waterloo does not take 45 minutes but a solid hour on foot. Oops!

Immediately, here are my general thoughts on being home:
1) My NYC nail polish has lasted remarkable well (on the 10th day now). I will definitely be going back there.
2) London is beautiful in the sunshine.
3) There are LOADS of dickheads in London.
4)  I am - unbelievably - missing my quiet life in downtown Manhattan, where I work from home; don't commute; go shopping during off-peak times; have fewer friends; have less stuff (one for T-bag); a smaller apartment; and generally more time. Of course, I know this isn't a normal week, and that most of you would be ignoring me usually.
5) I want to take all my friends and family back to the States with me so I can have the best of both worlds.
6) I fear that I will cry buckets when I leave and it'll put me off coming home, as it's too hard to deal with being sad, particularly as I've only just started to like living in NY. Not sure I'm ready to go back to missing friends, family and my UK life. Defence mechanism that mean a person runs away are weak and faulty, but that seems to be the one I have developed.
7) I'm definitely glad that we haven't gone back to check out our house. A drive-by would tempt curiosity and I'm not ready to see it turned into a Breaking Bad crack-den just yet. Thanks v much, Bradsy and Langers for putting that thought into my head.

More to follow...

breaking bad, jet lag and adverts

I cannot believe how addicted to breaking bad I am. it completely pushes the boundaries of what is acceptable on prime time TV. I love it. in other news, the boy and I are trying to mitigate the impending jet lag by getting up a little earlier every day. I'll be onto 5.30am - a tardy 10.30am in the UK - tomorrow. ouch. how will we make it in for my 8.45am meeting next week? I might die. in completely other news, the number of adverts with voiceovers in British accents is quite incredible. many of them have really uninteresting voices, which would never make the cut in the UK.

annoying shops

even buying clothes is difficult when you're foreign. I will give you a tip. if you're ever reincarnated as a really short girl, find the trashiest shop and you will always find clothes to fit you. back home, top shop, h &m, oasis and for a smart work frock, warehouse will do the trick. what's a girl to do in a foreign land? here is my lesson in us shops so far. do not go to bebe. it is too trashy. the length may be right, but the trash factor I'd way too high. no one needs that much Lycra. mango is not as nice add back home. I try a jacket on in front of the mirror and a sales assistant comes up to me and says, 'can I take that for you?' I say, 'no, thanks, I'm going to try another size.' to which her response is, 'well, I'm serving you. my name is presumptuous sales assistant.' (I may have made that last bit up.) in any case, this is not uncommon practice - also in the aforementioned bebe - and I can only imagine is based on commission. it's so annoying. the lesson learnt there is to shop in nicer shops.
in other news, there is no E cup bras in the us. just triple D - not to be confused with diners, drive-ins, and dives. just saying.

toddler beauty pageant

watching the most ridiculous programme about toddlers in beauty pageant. I don't mean to judge but parents who feed their children energy drinks mixed with apple juice and coke so they stay awake during the pageant are bad people. and don't get me started on how they primp and preen them with fake hair and make up whilst they're bawling their eyes out.

coming home

I can't believe we're coming home a week tomorrow. it's going to be so weird coming home; will I be sad? will I b happy? I can't wait to wander the streets of London again, but I don't want to be home in brockley. I don't want to be near my house but not able to go in. I want to check that the tenants are looking after our new bathroom. that they're not overfilling over loft. that they haven't stained or o sofa. i'm going to just stay away.
I wonder how I'll feel when we take off to come back to new York. will I bawl? will I feel relieved to be going home. know I'll just want to bring my friends and family back with me.

The Amazing Coney Island!

We made the our-long trip to Coney Island yesterday for the annual hot dog eating contest. It was incredible - like an American version of the Olympics. Joey Chestnut was the six-times winner and record holder, who came in on a Nathan's sponsored trolley.

It was absolutely sweltering, but somehow, Joey managed to break his world record of 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes by one dog to take the new world record to 69! It was actually very fun, exciting and gross at the same time. All the contestants looked like they were convulsing and about to vomit up all the hot dogs at any moment.

We spent some time at the funfair; went on the famous ferris wheel, redeemed our coupons for a load of gash prizes, and ate deep fried twinkies. So very wrong.

We rounded the day off by going to the famous side show with all the freaks. What an amazingly fun day! Big thumbs up to Coney Island, you fulfilled every stereotype of America I could have ever dreamed of!

global friends

I've been poorly for the last couple of days. I'm blaming the shiatsu for messing with my chi. I tried to do myself some good by have a smoothie. a big green (with kale and spinach) plus an extra shot of immunity now pushed the price to $10! as I said, never mind Jesus, I wept.

somehow we have something going on every day from now until Wednesday. with other people. when did we get so many friends? on Saturday we're planning on going to the beach an hour away by train in long island and my friend from Astoria is visiting her folks there so we'll be catching up with her there. amazing.
 also read an interesting article about third nation kids, who are kids that spend a lot of their developmental years in cultures different to their parents. I tick lots of the boxes and one of the boxes was you have friends from lots of different countries. today I found out that a friend from Paris who now lives in Geneva is moving here and another in Japan might be moving here too, job dependent. I love this global world.

Asia Day

Last night we went out and bought two beach towels, a sun parasol, and a cool bag for a day trip to the beach - we're planning on going often. Unfortunately, it was a bit overcast so we decided to shelve going to Long Beach this morning and instead headed to Flushing, which is Chinatown x 1000. I have been yearning for dim sum for ages, and despite being a 15-minute walk to Chinatown, have wanted to try the authentic stuff in Flushing.

What I hadn't realised was that China is well represented in Flushing, so the various Chinese cuisines are well represented here. Cantonese cuisine is just one of many, so I picked what looked like the best of the bunch and we headed on over.

Well, it was Hong Kong style and impressive that 99% if the customers were Chinese. Everyone spoke Cantonese and they had the authentic trolley style dim sum a la Hong Kong. Somehow, I didn't like it as much as the places we've been to in Chinatown in London - bring back Imperial China, all is forgiven. Maybe I just like stuff coming out hot and being able to order at my leisure and not craning my neck for one particular dish. Or maybe it's just that I like the slightly Anglocised version that I've grown up with.

We then went to Spa Castle, which is the NY equivalent to Spa King, which I went to in Chicago. What can I say? I didn't enjoy it as much as Spa King, but the facilities are excellent. There were just too many people and families and a ridiculous outdoor pool area. And too many knobheads, shouting at their other halves to 'take a photo! Take a photo!' (OK, just one knobhead.) We had shiatsu massages and sushi and lounged about in our pyjamas and overall were there for five hours. It's so hard not to spend loads of money when no cash is exchanged. You just clock it up on your wristband and leave with a mandatory bill of $120 per person.

I was a bit of an idiot and left myself just 15 minutes to dry myself, and get dressed before meeting the Boy to catch the shuttle bus. Somehow, I smothered my whole body in sticky hair serum so had to have another shower, leaving myself just 8 minutes to dry myself again and throw some clothes on, thus undoing the good work of our relaxing day. Ah well. 

I now have beautifully soft skin and will be going back in the winter. Late at night. When there are no children, only the hardcore fans, and no knobheads.