Mum Guilt

I never knew this could be a thing but I have terrible mum guilt. All the time. I never realised that being a parent means that you never ever make the right decision because the other choice always turns out to be the right one.

The boys have terrible reflux at the moment. I have experienced the classic crying at two wailing babies unsure of how I can stop their crying. Something has to give.

So I decided that I am going to stop pumping and giving the boys breast milk, as pumping every three hours is killing me. Originally, the plan was to pump until the first of September, then it was when the boys reached twelve weeks, which should be this Sunday, and then when they were three months.

Over the last week I've gone backwards and forwards on this. 'The boys much prefer it to formula so I'll carry on' is punctuated with thoughts such 'I resent pumping when I could be going to bed'. 
Plus, I've been breastfeeding a bit, such is always smacking for five minutes and then gets support tedious and boring.

As it stands I'm pumping when I have time and watching my supply decrease. It makes me sad that imminently I will no longer be nourishing my children directly, something I have done for the last year, including when they were in utero.

As I said, mum guilt is super strong.