Superficial and Inadequate

for all the good times here in New York, I find it difficult and exhausting, too. I am so frequently pushed outside my comfort zone and relate to people on quite a superficial level.

I am in my second week of out and out networking, today started the first day of a three-day conference. I rarely attended conference in the UK so don't have a frame of reference, but the ones here are all-consuming. you exist in a little microcosm of the conference and you live and breatheit for its duration

. I've gotten out of bed, as my mind is whirring. I used to be terrible at networking and am now mediocre. I find myself reliving moments, cringing at the moronic things I've said to CEOs though at least I don't kick myself for not approaching them anymore. I find networking tough because I find it so superficial and fake. I want people to know that I'm a good person and I don't mean to talk to them just to get X or Y out of them. the fakery drives me insane.

it is easier here than back home, as people are happy to play the game whereas as Brits, our natural inclination is for everyone to stand there by themselves wishing the ground would swallow us up. I know I'm tired with two more days left and another conference looming next month. after some sleep, I'll be reenergised and ready with my game face on, but for tonight I'll lie here on my sofa, reliving, lamenting and cringing until tiredness takes over.

conferences in the States highlight your inadequacies, as speaker 1) in my first session recited poetry on demand; speaker 2) was a multi-award winning trumpeter/MD/artistic director/wisest man on earth; and random punter 3) was an executive coach for UN and CGI delegates who made me stop and think at least twice whilst speaking to him.

of course, it may be that it was just because the conference made me miss the season finale of Breaking Bad that I'm grumpy.

Being a Foreigner has its Perks

New York has been on lockdown this week because the UN general assembly was meeting plus the Clinton Global Initiative's global meeting was taking place. roads were closed, motorcades of heads of state and royalty were ten a penny and I attended the ambassador's residence for the announcement of the declaration against sexual violence in conflict by William Hague. for the record, that's the way he speaks in real life.

it's been surreal to be a part of all this. it's something you see on TV and hear about in the news but to experience it firsthand is amazing.

life returned to normality yesterday. our ED left after a week attending CGI and I went back to my martial arts school for a double session after two weeks off - I learnt various 'destruction' shots in our street kick boxing class last night so don't cross me.

this morning I went to a fitness class that had tabata elements to it. it's all the rage and I think it's in London now. check it out.

pancakes, bacon, maple syrup for breakfast and batting cages this afternoon. I am truly embracing the American way of life and have finally squeezed back into my skinny jeans for the first time in nearly a year. life is good.

to compound the randomness of my life right now, an old friend has reentered my life. I met L and her son for lunch for the first time in 11 years. the last time no doubt would have been a teary goodbye in Paris as students and now she, her husband, and her little boy have up sticks to NYC too. I wonder whether she will be as big a part of my overseas adventure this time round. the good thing was that it was like nothing had changed. I can't wait to find out.

The West Wing

As you may know, the Boy and I are trying to plug the impending Breaking Bad void in our lives with the West Wing. It's good. It's clever. However, it's got the most annoying music. It's so bloody worthy and rom-com-esque. And what's with Martin Sheen's mini soliloquies at the end of episodes. It just makes me want to vomit.

Finally, if I were to host a dinner party and serve chilli to 20 plus people, I would not have just a small pot's worth. I would be ashamed if I were you, Mr President.

don't read this unless you've taken anti-nausea tablets

the Boy and I are getting on really well right now. OK, I'm underselling it a bit, we're feeling pretty loved up.

we owe new York a lot for this. if it weren't for new York, we wouldn't haven't got married. that was, I quote, 'the happiest day of our lives' and I thoroughly agree with whoever it was that said that.

 if it weren't for new York, we wouldn't be spending so much time together. back home, we had a lot on our plates. we have (more) friends and demands on our time back home - both good and bad demands.

 we spend more quality time together I.e. we have fewer chores and I tend to do a quite a bit with my 'commuting time'. hence why the Boy really struggled in the shops the other day.

 we're also going through lots of ace experiences and making memories together, which definitely helps. plus, the whole transcontinental move really challenged us and tested our relationship. we have the common enemy of adjusting to life abroad. so all in all, we're getting on mighty fine.

having said all this, what might break us is the fantasy football. for the first time in four years, I've decided to play properly. no languishing at the bottom of the table for I'm a Banana this season and making everyone feel better that they're not last. no. it does mean that we might fall out over who gets the highest points each week and argue whilst we're watching the football at the weekend. bad habits has overtaken infidelity add the reason for divorce according to the Guardian. they might have to make a lack of sportsmanship in fantasy football category.

slow down

I've not blogged in over a week due to sickness and then idleness. Sunday, we hired bikes in the west village and rod them all along the Hudson river, way past central park up to inwood park. we rode past expensive boats, basketball courts, major roads, and Latino barbecues in public parks. there's a surprising steep climb, meaning spectacular views over the river up towards the east side. it was an amazing way to spend three hours in the final days of sunshine.

Monday evening I felt gross but had to drag my body to the baseball with my colleagues who were over from the UK on the Tuesday. the baseball was fun, though I felt so rough that I made the boy leave after just 45 minutes, as we had already queued for 45 minutes for the Boy's shake shack burger!

 a voiceless, bedridden chan is the protagonist for the next two days - nothing happened. Friday I ventured out again with my boss, and I had some welcomed pork and century old egg congee to abate my cold. the weather is strange now, super changeable, with warm days and cold nights so coughs and colds are rife.

 the boy is also sick so we've spent the last two days at home, grooming the west wing to take over from breaking bad in a mere three weeks' time. guess what year the first year of the west wing was aired. you will be immensely surprised to hear 1999, which is 14 years ago. I assure you, you can tell. hairstyles are dated, there are pagers and I'm sure they are all using nokias.
 my body is trying to tell me that I've been pushing myself too hard. I am tired after going to the shops. time to rest and recuperate...

shushed at a gig

as I posted on Facebook, I danced for four hours and apparently danced six miles on Friday night. we went to a drum and bass night where Andy C was headlining. it was excellent and the crowd were pretty friendly - as you would expect in America! t

he night was at Webster hall, a multi-purpose venue, where gigs also take place. the strangest thing was that we turned up and went to the first room, which had Latino music on. the second room had genetic house going on and scantily clad dancers on the stage. we were starting to think that we had come to the wrong place. I can definitely get used to leaving a venue at 4am and being home by 4.05am.

Saturday was a write-off, even though I tried to go to kickboxing at 2pm and then at 3pm (OK, I wasn't even close either time). I did get to chat to my sister and see Helen's enormous bump, which made up for it.

in the evening we went to see volcano choir, again at Webster hall. for those of you who don't know, they are linked to bon iver, and fairly chilled. talking point of the evening was definitely being shushed at the bar for talking too loudly. what a dickhead she was. (OK, we were standing in the bar area of the concert but still.)

 today, we took a glorious three-hour bike ride along the Hudson river. beyond central park, there a steep-ish climb, which has amazing views across the river. and what a beautiful day! the nights are getting colder, but the sun continues to shine.

lastly, breaking bad was epic tonight and I have to admit, I shed a tear or two. I'm glad I'd already finished the tasty chili I'd cook (no, really, it was - always stick dark chocolate in) otherwise it'd have put me right off my dinner.

the unique fire island

fire island is the alternative summer vacation hotspot to the Hamptons for new Yorkers. as a merry band of eight, we rented a wood-clad 1970s house in chi chi pines. it was gorgeous.

 you have to  take a ferry to get there, as there are no cars on the island. you float in to gay fabulousness and beautifully manicured boardwalks. the part we stayed in was super stylish with amazing architecture of grey, wooden houses. there are no roads or pavements, just endless waters edges, beaches and boardwalks

. I won't talk about how livid our 1.5 hour search for the house made me - airbnb had advertised the wrong house number so I nearly settled into the wrong house - as I want paint the serene picture that fire island deserves. whilst I don't see Giuseppe's Bali analogy, I do see a very upmarket resort that's unlike anywhere else I've been.

 as a party of eight there was the usual ridiculous taunts, jokes and dares, including a somersault into the pool to land on a floating lilo, plus some twerking, as we're down with the kids. alongside lots of margaritas and an immense BBQ. I'm already planning next year's trip...

sex and the city moment

yesterday I had a real sex and the city moment, except I still felt very much like jenny from Devon. I met this journalist who had apparently been on TV as a news broadcaster and had a fling with a Hollywood film star at a do gooder event a couple of weeks ago. she invited me for happy hour drinks with a lot of fabulous bi- coastal - I hadn't ever heard of this term until last night - superwomen. one was a relationship guru, who had just been on TV that morning, two were bloggers, one worked for a multi award winning marketing agency, another had set up her own agency, one had dashed in between parties as it's NY fashion week. all very strange to jenny from Devon.

in other news, I can't believe breaking bad will only be in my life for another three episodes and hurray for a new, better call Saul prequel.

the arrival of S & J

the arrival of the boys has meant much eating and merriment. they arrived, bleary-eyed after an interminable experience at JFK where they waited to get through security for an hour and a half.

we promptly wheeled them out to eat at Motorino, which is supposed to have a fancy pizza oven, meaning that it pizzas get cooked super fast. the pizza base was delicious, somehow reminiscent of naan bread though the toppings just weren't as good as artichoke pizza. we were seduced by one of the supposed top ten pizzas in new York, the Brussel sprout and bacon. good but no cigar.

Thursday the boys managed to see the whole of Manhattan and then some. I'm surprised their legs didn't drop off. we went to amar y amargo, a bitters based bar, where we had an array of interesting tasting drinks. the highlight was their version of a gin and tonic. not a drop off tonic in sight but very refreshing thanks to grapefruit bitters. another was purely herbal, which I liked as it reminded me of medicinal Chinese soup. not many fans amongst the group.

the weekend was taken over by s glorious excursion to fire island, which deserves its own post so I'll concentrate on my thoughts on having the boys visit. it's been bloody marvellous.

so easy because I know them like family and I can just tell them that I'm off to an exercise class or ignore them (whilst I'm blogging, for instance). it's also been great having fellow gluttonous friends in town. a fine excuse to eat out at favourite joints and try out new brisket restaurants - roll on tomorrow. but above all, it's been like having a little bit of home here; the best of both worlds. can you get training contracts for trainee lawyers and secondments for civil servant lawyers to new York? will have to investigate...

an odd few days

on Sunday, we went to south street seaport, which was a bit depressing and reminded me of a small town English shopping centre except with full of NYC souvenir shops. I also fell in love. yes, of course with food! we discovered magnolia bakery's banana pudding. I'm craving it like xi'an famous food's cumin lamb noodle soup.

yesterday was odd. it was labour day, which is like our last august bank holiday. as there are more public holidays here than back home, I had to pick two dates that I want taking and yesterday was one of them. the Boy was off and I found it weird having him there. I don't know what I'll do when I'm back in an office environment and I have to work around others again. my falafel craving of the last month was also sated.

 yesterday was another strange day. the Boy was a little homesick and that made me blue. I don't like seeing him sad. it's funny the way we've responded to being away. I see home as a constant, safe thing. if I need anything, my family, friends, house, life will be there for me. my time here is temporary. if I don't make the most of every minute, enjoy it, savour it, test it, test myself, I will always regret it. sure, people joke that we'll never leave. but I left Japan. I left France, I left Spain. no regrets and seize every opportunity. don't wish your time away.

 in other news, we're waiting for the boys to arrive. hopefully they'll bring a slice of home with them for the Boy.

B Boy dance offs

since we found out about our move to new York in October, the Boy has been badgering me to watch the warriors, an old school movie about a gang from Coney island here in new York. I admit that it was more fun than I had anticipated, but it really is like porn I.e. there is no storyline.

 we left the apartment at 3pm yesterday following a morning of watching the football, as fox TV now shows the premier league on our cable plan. the first match we watched? Cardiff versus Everton. huzzah. good day for me in the fantasy football - thanks to my captain.

we then went for a long walk all the way through prospect park, which is huge and more rustic than central park. we made our way to the roulette in Brooklyn for a three on three B Boy dance competition. there was also a bonus individuals competition, which was incredible. the winner must have been double jointed because he could invert his whole body. the whole crowd just screamed after his first dance. the atmosphere was electric and pretty gladiatorial, with a pit like square where they'd dance and crowds stood around them. The Boy and I sat upstairs on the balcony and lorded over the proceedings! the posturing and crotch grabbing was incredible. I've never been so immersed in hip hop culture as the last three months.

af

ter 2.5 hours, we went off for some food and found a pub/restaurant, which was based on the owner's time working in a Victorian style gastropub in Hampstead, London. great atmosphere, good food, potent cocktails. I had to water mine down. first real pub we've found in NY, i think. another great weekend so far. I love being a semi tourist. happy labour day weekend!