D&C

Today was operation day. Again, we were delayed, this time by a new computer system at the hospital. We were an hour late in registering my details, though it was chaos across all departments.

I sat in my paper gown for about 2.5 hours waiting for my operation, as I kept getting bumped for emergency cases. I was tired, thirsty and hungry, as I wasn't allowed to eat or drink after midnight the night before.

Surgery in the States is strange for many reasons:
1) I have nothing to compare it to, as I've never had surgery until now;
2) I walked myself to the operating theatre and hopped on the operating table myself;
3) I had a conversation with the doctor - who I had hugged in the pre-op waiting area, as she is my OB - about whether the genetic testing of the 'tissue' i.e. my baby would be covered by insurance; and
4) I had been interviewed by three of the four people present in the theatre prior to the operation.

I had an interesting conversation with the anaesthetist. He put in the IV and then told me he had just administered a small dose of the medicine that would put me to sleep. 'Oh yes, I can smell it. It smells sweet.'

'Really?' He asked. 'You must be like me. I see things in colour and taste things. You must smell things.'

Everyone is so kind when they hear you are having a D&C. The anaesthetist gently rubbed my face when I started to cry on the operating table and encouraged me to feel sad. I could feel my OB and the operating nurse rubbing my legs as I was drifting off... All in all, we were in the hospital from 8.30am-5.30pm. Not bad considering we were supposed to be able to leave at 1pm.

Tonight the Boy and I had a sad moment. I no longer feel distraught, but just deep-seated sadness. My tears roll slowly down my face. I can feel them staining my cheeks. Unlike two weeks ago, it's not that intense pain I felt and the floods of tears I knew. I feel relieved that I'm pragmatic and practical, but also a little heartless; unfair, as I had been protecting myself during my first trimester for bad news.

Tomorrow I will cry some more, but then Wednesday we start afresh.