The dangers of living at home

Right, I need to leave home as soon as possible for two reasons.

1) I will get incredibly fat if I stay any longer.
As I mentioned yesterday, we eat a lot in this house and today was no exception. Total food intake for today:

two weetabix
three egg and crab sandwiches
a Chinese dinner including duck, broccoli, fish and rice
a smoked salmon sandwich
(3) bangers and mash

2) I will expect people to come with subtitles.
Due to spending so much time in front of the computer and not knowing anybody around here, I keep in touch with a lot of my friends through msn. So, when I meet people in the 'real' world, I'll be staring at their midriff expecting smileys and msn shorthand.