You can take kittychan out of Cullompton...

jammies

2007-03-11T20:06:00.000+09:00

I look like a huge, fat marshmallow in my jammies, pink, fluffy slipper socks and dressing gown.

happy holidays!

2006-11-24T02:34:00.000+09:00

Reykjavik was very cool. We walked around in the immense cold (-22 degrees taking into account the windchill) and saw the sights. Random viking longboat sculptures, amazing views from atop the church of snowy mountains, quaint mult-coloured houses, the sea and a beautiful sunrise. The very cool Blue Lagoon which was like a massive onsen. It was cool to have that same relaxed feeling going back into the cold after boiling yourself in other people's filth. Sounds rank but was really lovely.

Then got to Boston where we had clam chowder and lobster and Boston cream pie. Did the Harvard tour and loads of shopping. I love being rich in the US (thanks to a good exchange rate). Everything is well cheap! Stayed in a lovely old hotel attached to the hospital. I was super excited about the kitchenette which came with the room. Am such a geek.

Back in NYC now and it's thanksgiving. It's great having the Xmas feeling in the middle of November, especially when I should be at work. Yay! Eaten Taco Bell, pizza, sushi, Philly cheese steak sandwich, pumpkin pie and we haven't even gone to Jo's American friend's house yet. Looking forward to a Thanksgiving dinner and have more sushi, big American steaks to look forward to. Went to Ellis Island, saw the statue of Liberty, Grand Central Station, the Chrysler building, Chinatown, Twin Towers, UN tour and a bar with nomihoudai (all you can drink) for £7.50! Going to get a manicure, do more shopping and go up to the Rainbow Rooms at some point.

Paul and Yuki arrive tomorrow. Somehow Jo has made it into a huge reunion and she's gotten in touch with loads of people. Will blog properly with pictures soon...

Halloween Party

2006-10-30T06:36:00.000+09:00

We had the most try hard party last night.
Fake cobwebs, carved pumpkins, floating ghosts, skull garlands, plastic spiders, I-tripped music around the whole flat, dead person's outline, vodka jelly with halloweens sweets, red lamps, soggy sausage rolls. What more would you want at a Halloween party?

The costumes were equally amazing with an Edward Scissorhands, Jimmy Saville and a Jim fixed it for me 'am I bovvered' schoolgirl, the Hulk, Paul Fatty-bum-bum-touch-the-man-boobs-ringmaster Hutton, yours truly as an Oompa Loompa, a crazy insect Queen...

At 9pm we had three guests - 2 of them were Sim's. By 11pm the place was heaving and we were off our heads on Shambles (wine, vodka and red bull). Can't remember much about the evening apart from Paul dry humping everything he could get his fatty hands on on the dance floor...That's it really...

JET reunion

2006-10-17T05:10:00.000+09:00

On Thursday 12am, Mr and Mrs Indecisive aka Paul chan and JC finally realise that we needed to book a place for karaoke for 14 peops. Wholly crap. Needless to say, it was a complete waste of time meaning that the indecision bled into Friday.

Friday afternoon, Paul booked a room for three hours for karaoke. Despite ringing up three times, we were still unsure exactly whether the booking went through or now. How's your K-go, anyone?

5pm Mark and JC booked their places at the happy hour bar with the international crew arriving in dribs and drabs. It was bloody great to see everyone and just like old times, even though most of the time was spent speaking to Paul and telling each other how much we love each other and that we should spend more time together. (Really, we can't spend more time together).

Saturday, Laura, Po-ru and JC went for a sneaky practice hour and cranked out every song on Shidax Gold. Karaoke with the full gang is no old school affair but proper
J-styley. So much so that it even had the scoring at the end. As always, the silent second mike would only score 5 points less than the one being used. Corkers such as Kilby's gangsters paradise, Don't Look Back in Anger, Ironic - where's Amy? - Do you know the way to San Jose, Unbreak my Heart etc. Classics!

14 of us then try to get into GAY late, though we get turned away cos we're just not gay enough. Boo hoo!

The party splinters off with dull going-home folk, party bopping folk and fat bastard folk. I fell into the last category including fellow fat bastards, Sim chan, Neal-sama and Laura chan. Kilby, who many of you will know as super J-poi chan piked after 30 mins but ended up falling asleep on the night bus and ended up in Wood Green. Toooooooooooiiiiiiiiiii j'an.

The adventures started in the very rude C resto where the waiter was suitably unimpressed with Ne-ru's attempts at using numbers. Our visit was cut short when he informed us of the 10 quid minimum order per person. We then went to the not so friendly inn where the lady started closing our menus when I asked them whether they sold noodle soup. Laura complained that they were just throwing away money, to which the bird replied, 'I don't need your money. I'm rich'.

Sunday just left me feeling sad. Sad that I don't see you cool, crazy cats enough.

Sorry my writing makes no sense. Eaten too much pudding, I think which has made me a bit hyper.

Reunions

2006-10-03T18:02:00.000+09:00

You know when you're getting old when you have fifty reunions to attend.

JET RETURNERS
Not strictly a reunion but I met up with Kilby and Louise a few weekends ago after the returners conference thingy in London. Was cool, though we did spend a bit too much time a Wetherspoons than is ok for a non-student. I out-did myself by ordering the two meals for £5.29 deal. Am a povvo and a fat basta*d. Still haven't managed to get rid of Kilby

JET REUNION mark II
We're going to have about 10 ex-JETs coming to stay in a couple of weeks time from all over the shop. The flat is going to stink. Not because of the people specifically but the smell of too many people cramped in a small flat who will be hitting the booze hard. Bring on all things J...

SCHOOL REUNION
In 3 weeks time, I'm going to be attending my 10 year school reunion. Am going to cry. Just been on Friends Reunited. There are people who have been made Directors of their companies, bank managers etc. I beg the question: what have I done with my life? Say I, sat in my jammies at 10am on a Tuesday morning discussing the virtues of Primark with Paul via MSN (who IS at work incidentally).

All this makes me feel incredibly old and sad that time passes so quickly. Reunions make me sad that I see people I love spending time with so infrequently and because I have lost touch with so many people. Well, will be strange and cool to catch up on the last ten years.

o hisashiburi

2006-09-25T21:43:00.000+09:00

Am rubbish still.

What have I been up to?

1) Quit my job and now have 3 days left
2) Got a new job at another charity as a Grants and Partnerships Officer - I'll be trying to get money from the govt
3) Went to see Laura and Ben on the Isle of Man which is absolutely beautiful
4) Pranced around to Kylie and Tom Jones in a busy shopping centre signing to the words - all in the name of charity
5) Went to a restaurant where we had to eat in pitch darkness
6) Welcomed Kilby home and watched him eat lots of crap
7) Taken up ceroc dancing - a mix of jive and salsa - at which I am rubbish

What will I be up to?
1) Mark-u will be visiting which will hopeully mean a karaoke bonanza
2) Going back to Cullompton for my 10 year school reunion
3) Going t Reykjavik
4) Ann-chan will be coming to visit meaning another karaoke fest
5) playing giant human Monopoly around London - also in the name of charity
6) Going to an all you can eat and drink Medieval banquet
7) Starting a year-long J course at Westminister University. Po-ru and I are officially students again. Just need to buy £255 worth of stuff at Top Shop and I'd have broke even

Rubbish

2006-07-23T01:25:00.000+09:00

Dear all,

I am super super sorry that I have been so rubbish lately. The past few months have flown by and I find myself in the middle of summer, the humidity high. No, I'm not in Japan, but in London.

The other day, the train was at a standstill in a tunnel on the tube for 15 minutes. It was the first time since Japan that I had a waterfall of sweat streaming down my back. Lovely.

Paul has just come back from Japan and I am missing everything about Japan. Not much news here though a ticket has been booked to see our beloved Jo and I'll be going to see Laura on the Isle of Man in September.

Not much has changed in the last few months. I'm still a fundraiser. I'm losing my Japanese. I've started dance classes - can you believe it! - and...well, that's it really.

To those of you who are leaving Japan: I feel so sad for you. I can remember how low I felt in my last few weeks. To my friends still in Japan and those who have scattered all over. I do still miss you and think of you often. Life around you just takes over and the thoughts and memories of your friends that you have during the day stay with you. I'm just not disciplined enough to sit down and email you with: I thought of you today; I miss you.

But I want to say: I miss you and I'm thinking of all of you.

God, I'm such a sappy cow.

Allergy

2006-04-07T01:44:00.000+09:00

I think I'm allergic to staying still. This is true in a two ways:

1) I find it hard to sit still. I need to move/jump/bounce/leap

This makes working in an office problematic.

2) I have itchy feet again. I miss the excitement of living abroad. Of trying different things every day and finding out new things.

This makes working in an office in London problematic.

I wish that this blog ended in something dramatic such as: I'm quitting my job and leaving for Peru tomorrow and oh, I've bought a pogo stick. But no, I am sitting at my desk in London; no jumping.

My wedding

2006-04-04T07:05:00.000+09:00

When I get married:
I'm going to have my reception at a place called the 'Coloseum'. The writing is garish and it has fairy lights all year round. Next, I'm going to have a DJ called Disco Mike and he's going to play songs like 'Aga Doo' and 'Piano-man'. Oh, and there's going to Chinese food. And on my wedding list there will be a Mr Frosty.

Hangover cures

2006-03-23T21:38:00.000+09:00

Breakfast:

A glass of Berocca orange
A mug of ovaltine
A mug of miso soup
A pack of prunes

It's funny what you want to ingest when you're hungover, isn't it?

Paul

2006-02-28T21:57:00.000+09:00

After reading jagaimogirl's question, 'you are still a girl, right?' It got me thinking about whether I was indeed, still a girl. My -scary- first thought was, 'well, not as much as Paul', it was practically instinctive, which then reminded me of when someone we know said recently, 'Paul's got girl's writing'.

So to answer your question J-girl, 'I'm still a girl, but not as much as Paul'.

wasabi

2006-02-22T22:48:00.000+09:00

two unagi
two sarumon
two maguro
two ika

That was my lunch. I miss Japan.

For those of you who know me, I've been suffering from severe sushi withdrawal. So when I had lunch today, I got a little carried away with the wasabi. My nose felt like it was on fire and I was crying like a girl.

Two new buses

2006-02-17T22:48:00.000+09:00

Yesterday I took two new buses. Felt very smug and clever. (see, Jo. Your life is way more exciting. Swap?)

Everything

2006-02-10T02:19:00.000+09:00

So, as you've probably guessed, I haven't got internet at home yet. That's on our huge to-do list. We've moved in and we're having a housewarming on Saturday plus it's my birthday which I kind of wasn't really aware of until just now. Weird.

The job's going OK and I'm starting to learn bits and bobs. I feel like I'm back in Paris because I spend most of my time obsessing about the quickest way of getting around town. So dumb.

There are about 36 lightbulbs in our flat. My dad is probably 'Susan', the 'landlady' who lives in 'Canada'.

Watched Brokeback and have felt sad all day. They really loved each other; and it's not even PMS.

Farewell Devon

2006-01-21T17:36:00.000+09:00

Firstly, sayonara, Dyson! I will miss you, my friend. You have helped me through the tough times when I was unemployed and wondering if I would ever get a job. You were always there for me. Thank you.

***

I've had a really busy few days. On Thursday I drove to Southampton with a carload of my stuff to pick up more stuff from my uncle's of mine. When Paul met me in front of the estate agents to pick of the keys, he promptly started to piss himself laughing as he saw me wedged into the drivers seat.

After hastily moving in, I had to run into town to meet up with some friends I had made whilst on the Trans-Sib. It was so cool to meet up. Although we'd only known each other for a total of 10 days max, there was the same feeling as when you meet up with your old uni mates or mates from JET. There was the same feeling of solidarity and shared experience, though of course, our shared experiences were packed into a few days and involved mainly drinking and stupid games on a train.

Then yesterday I had a crazy day of driving back here to Devon. For someone who doesn't particularly enjoy driving and who doesn't drive that much, 10 hours is three days is a lot, and by the last hour, my hip joint was in excruciating pain. How old am I?!

After sleeping for 9 glorious hours, I'm about to get ready to get on a train and start my new life. I will be penniless and tired most of the time but at least I'll be able to blog about more than lightbulbs.

Public transport: fan-bloody-tastic!

Webcam

2006-01-17T08:30:00.000+09:00

Webcam is evil.

I just flashed someone and their mum was stood next to them.

Yesterday, I was walking down the road when I saw a right-hand drive car. It took me a while to work out which side we have in England.

Warning: I have been driving for 8 years.

Limbo

2006-01-11T23:45:00.000+09:00

I have nothing to do.

I finally got up the guts to ring my office about the lack of any form of communication on their part. It was a strange conversation in that I didn't get to speak to my boss directly. The bloke who answered the phone directed my questions at my boss who then replied through the bloke on the phone. It turns out that my contract was sent but must have been lost in the post.

Job - tick

We viewed about a million houses over the last few days and found one we liked just 8 minutes walk from where Stephen Jones lives! I've sent the agency my form for the reference checking and am just waiting for them to ok everything.

Flat - tick

We can't move in until everything's finalised so I can't sort out how or when I'm going to move in. This leaves me with nothing much to do except annoy my soon-to-be flatmates with 'ooooooooooooo, there's the biggest mountaineering centre in the South East right by our house' or 'ooooooo, we'll have to pay about £504 gas and electricity bills per year'.

Exciting stuff. Could go and pack...

Flat hunting

2006-01-04T22:39:00.000+09:00

Oh my God! Why am I still chained to the computer even though I have (well, maybe), a job? To all you estate agents out there with your cockney wideboy accents and your 'oh, my flat's better than your flat' talk, just give me a flat!

Arrrrggggggggghhhhhhh! Getting hysterical...

Still no official news about my job. Am wondering whether I made up the whole thing a la Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.

A month

2005-12-28T22:59:00.000+09:00

A month seems like a long time in theory but when I think about what I want to do and what I need to do before my job starts on the 23rd, I have no time whatsoever. I will try and be good and blog more now that I am unemployed until January.

Famous last words.

A job!

2005-12-23T04:20:00.000+09:00

I finish my 'internship' tomorrow. I was looking forward to returning jobless back to Devon.

NO!

I had an interview today with the British Deaf Association for the post of 'fundraising officer' and just got an email saying they were going to give me the job. I start work on the 23rd and on the fundraising training scheme on the 24th January.

Paul starts work on the 3rd of January so we can start looking for houses now. Yay!

Incidentally, I will be living in a do-gooder house as Kate, Paul and I will all be working for charities.

So starts our careers!

Yay!

Jobs

2005-12-05T00:57:00.000+09:00

Not much to report here really. The job is going ok but the time's going really quickly. I'm nearly halfway through my internship already so I'll soon be back in Cullompton and back on the old MSN and daily internet access.

Have applied for a few jobs and had an interview which I will hear about tomorrow or the day after apparently. Not too confident though.

On the social side, I'm happy to say I have reclaimed my life. Been hanging out a lot with Paul and the other day went skating with about 15 gay men. Just been to-ing and fro-ing a lot really and generally having a good time. Need a permanent job!

If you are reading this, then expect a copy of my CV in the post shortly. I expect you to carry it with you everywhere and expect you to whip it out at the slightest chance that there's a job on offer.

I thank you in advance and look forward to hearing from you.

The start

2005-11-25T20:22:00.001+09:00

This has got to be quick.

I arrived in London on Sunday. I have two male flatmates. One who had a massive hangover this morning as he just finished his accountancy exams last night so went on a huge bender. The flat is really nice and close to the tube.

Work is ok. I've met loads of really cool, like-minded people so I think I will like the charity sector. The work itself is really easy though I'm often in dingy, cold churches. Not cool. Yesterday I had to wear a sandwich board which was huge. When I was standing it was the same height as me. Oh well, can say I've done it.

Today I had an interview with another charity and had to write a letter asking for home help. Not too confident as my letter was a bit crap. Finally sent off my second stage application form for the fundraising training scheme. Lots of thanks and kisses to all of you in the pub who helped the other night.

Right, off to do an hour of work before a weekend of debauchery, skating at Somerset House and sleep!

2005-11-25T20:22:00.000+09:00

Change

2005-11-20T19:52:00.000+09:00

Before I left for university, I cried buckets and buckets. Before I went to Paris, I cried even more. Before going to Spain, I cried and swore I didn't want to go. Before leaving for Japan, I cried and cried and said that I was scared to go.

I am leaving Cullompton for London in an hour and a half. I am sat in my jammies in front of the computer. In the last three months, I have become so used to this that I am scared to go to London which is ridiculous as I have worked in London before and most of my friends live there. So why am I so apprehensive?

JC no like change.

eulogy

2005-11-18T22:14:00.000+09:00

And so, after nearly three months of non-stop MSN-ing, I leave you Paul, my blonde, nicotine-addicted, big-pants-wearing, neurotic friend, 'Will'. I will not forget our endless talks of Jordan, food, London, jammies-wearing, competitions of who-can-stay-in-the-house-the-longest and seeing how far I can push the prude in you by asking rude questions before you shout, (MSN block capitals) JENNY!!

I will be back in the New Year.

P.S. I asked someone yesterday what the stuff on top of grass first thing in the morning which looks like icing sugar was called. What's happened to me?

Roof over my head

2005-11-18T19:38:00.000+09:00

I think I've found a place to stay over my five weeks in London. It'll be in Sarf London and in a flat with two 'professional males'. Bit nervous because I've never lived with blokes before. I hope that they are (fairly) clean and that the whole flat doesn't smell like piss as someone told me it would.

No doubt they'll both be gay because I am the ultimate fag hag.

Cardaid Charity shop manager

2005-11-16T19:00:00.000+09:00

On Monday I will have to meet with my new supervisor and receive my training. Yes, I have finally got a job. Unfortunately, the job is only for a month as it is an internship as a shop manager, but it is a foot in the door as they sometimes take on staff after the internship. So starts my career in the charity sector!

In the meantime, I must move my stuff up to London, find somewhere to live and also recover from my cold which has been plaguing me for the past week. Ii ne?

Right, gambarimasu.

Rejections

2005-11-09T22:00:00.000+09:00

Went to London yesterday for an interview for some work experience. The woman was supposed to ring me up by the end of the day so obviously I didn't get it. Got back home today to a rejection letter and a rejection via email for a work experience post with Save the Children. Oh dear, it's only lunchtime...

Laundry

2005-11-07T09:35:00.001+09:00

I don't know how many of you will remember, but I waxed lyrical about having a bed in a zenzen (magazine for Yamaguchi JETs) article I wrote last year. At home in Cullompton, I am fortunate enough to have a huge bed, a king-size one in fact. Because it is such a big bed and I am but wee, I tend to use half of it as a desk so I have all my books, remotes and things on it.

Now, tonight I was changing my bedsheets. I was taking them off and thought, 'now remember to take your remote off the bed', which I dutifully did. However, I forgot about my alarm clock which I left in my bedsheets. When I finally remembered, the sheets were already in the machine.

BUT...

I hadn't turned the on button on yet, so I spent a good 5 minutes rummaging around in my bedsheets looking for the sodding thing.

Now that ladies and gentleman, was the highlight of my Sunday evening.

2005-11-07T09:35:00.000+09:00

The job hunt

2005-11-06T20:03:00.000+09:00

I am going to London tomorrow for a 'chat' with a woman about work experience. It'll be for two weeks, possibly a wee bit longer, and will be a research post.

The job hunt is still going. I have good days and bad days. It sounds selfish, but I'm glad that I have someone doing it with me. Thanks, Paul. Whenever either of us is feeling low, the other gives a pep talk to the other one. It works quite well actually, though I'm hoping that we won't be in this situation for very long. I know that it is a question of time and that once I get a 'yes', it'll all happen really quickly; the job, the flat, the life, the friends, London. Until then though, it's a case of plodding on, keeping my chin up and trying not to get too fat.

P.S. Saw Charlotte on 'Parky' last night looking absolutely delectable.

Dyson

2005-11-02T09:27:00.000+09:00

In an attempt to do something at home, I have found a new hobby. It is called vacuuming. This newfound enjoyment in hoovering is thanks to the Dyson that my parents own. Dysons are great. You could vacuum twice a day and still pick up dirt and there's nothing better than to see it go whizzing around the transparent tube.

Help me!

The lamp saga continues

2005-11-01T05:02:00.000+09:00

I went to buy lightbulbs for the lamp today. My mother instructed me to buy two because obviously, you are never allowed to buy just one of anything.

I leave the shop with not two, but four lightbulbs. I am a Chan.

Lamp

2005-10-31T09:07:00.000+09:00

I went to IKEA yesterday and bought a new lamp for the living room as the one that was there is about as old as me.

Now, I was in a quandry as to whether to buy a lightbulb or not as it was a screwy one and not the two-pinned ones popular in the Chan household. Nonetheless, I took the chance that one out of 70 bulbs would be a screwy one.

Did my gamble pay off? Nah, all 70 are two-pinned.

Bugger. Arse.

Squirrels

2005-10-29T08:09:00.000+09:00

I've been snooping around my house and found more stashes:

8 boxes of tissues
250 sanitary towels
70 spare lightbulbs
100 bottles of water

Why?

The dangers of living at home

2005-10-28T07:32:00.000+09:00

Right, I need to leave home as soon as possible for two reasons.

1) I will get incredibly fat if I stay any longer.
As I mentioned yesterday, we eat a lot in this house and today was no exception. Total food intake for today:

two weetabix
three egg and crab sandwiches
a Chinese dinner including duck, broccoli, fish and rice
a smoked salmon sandwich
(3) bangers and mash

2) I will expect people to come with subtitles.
Due to spending so much time in front of the computer and not knowing anybody around here, I keep in touch with a lot of my friends through msn. So, when I meet people in the 'real' world, I'll be staring at their midriff expecting smileys and msn shorthand.

Food: the stuff that glues the Chans together

2005-10-27T06:15:00.000+09:00

Rarely does my whole family spend time together, mainly because VP is 16 and therefore prefers the company of her MP3 player than the rest of her family. Today however, we all went for Wednesday lunch (Sunday lunch on a Wednesday because it's cheaper), and then onto Tesco to do some grocery shopping.

Then we came home.

Not particularly eventful but very telling in its own way. To be a Chan, you must live and breathe food.

I came home and my mum prepared some squid for some meal in the future. I had a muesli bar, my sister prepared fajitas for dinner, my mum ate some chicken balls, king prawn balls and pork balls, I ate some Singapore rice noodles, my mum prepared some crab - for some meal in the future - and then put on some maris pipers to make my dad some bangers and mash for his 12am feed.

I think between us in one day, we eat around 16 meals a day. You don't need counselling, families just need food.

JC no like speed and efficiency

2005-10-26T07:37:00.000+09:00

So as I blogged yesterday, I went down to London for an interview today. I met up with the luscious Paul, the ever-immaculately groomed Yuki-chan and the delectable Stephen Jones for some J-food. As ever the table talk turned to smut.

After some lovely ten-don, I went for my interview at the NUS and thought it all went rather well - if I do say so myself. I then made a mad dash for the train back to Paddington to catch the last 'cheap' train I could, although it turned out that the train didn't actually exist as I had been led to believe, and I had to pay a surcharge. This was after sacrificing the joy of lugging home another whole roast duck for my parents.

So anyway, I get on the train and I get rejected somewhere between Newbury and Castle Cary; by dialing 123 - you have reached the 3 answer service...

As I said, JC no like all this speed and efficiency marlarky.

Big elastic band

2005-10-25T00:54:00.000+09:00

Tomorrow I go back to London as I have an interview. I need a giant elastic band. Has anyone got one?

I'm not going crazy, there is indeed a link between the two. If I had an elastic band, I wouldn't have to buy a train ticket at such short notice and so, I wouldn't need to need to fork out £37 (with a young person's railcard!), and instead could just slingshot myself across the South of England.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee...!

Jenny the Scav

2005-10-22T06:49:00.000+09:00

I have resorted back to the Jenny I was at university. In those days, I had a very strict policy when it came to birthday presents. You either got
a) a birthday card but no wrapping paper - though if I was feeling generous, I'd wrap it in my 20p Guardian
or
b) no card but cheap wrapping paper

Now, on the day of VP's birthday, I have still yet to wrap her presents but when I do get round to it, it will indeed be in the Guardian; a freebie from the Graduate fair I went to on Wednesday.

Someone give me a job.

Feels like ages, my darlings...

2005-10-21T20:11:00.000+09:00

Right, got back to Cullompton this morning and am officially back on the jobhunt. So far, I've checked my emails, eaten - twice - and checked out everyone's blogs. I'm so efficient.

What's been going on? Well, I went to see the doctor and from my blood tests, they have found that I have swelling somewhere in my body. Next step is to find out where the swelling in.

I had an interview with Bloomberg which completely bombed. It was blatantly obvious I had no interest in finance whatsoever when in response to, 'Why do you want to work for Bloomberg?' I said, 'I like the atmosphere'. Oh dear.

Went to two careers fairs. Not much to report except I have a few more pens and somehow Paul blagged a free massage.

Had the pleasure of visiting Jamie and Eleanor up in Corby. They were excellent hosts and dutifuly fed and kept me lubricated / inebriated for four days. Incidentally, I would like to add that you should never trust Hilton when in comes to navigation. We went for a short walk through the woods and ended up:
walking through what looked like no-man's-land
walking through a random field with bemused horses,
through brambles,
around a golf course,
along an A road with lorries hurtling past at 60 mph,
back into a field,
over a barbed wire fence,
through more thickets and brambles
to end full circle back in the wee village of Weldon after a 10 mile hike. That lad never got his orienteering badge.

My travels culminated in lunch at Misato with Yuki-chan, Mary and Paul. Talks included setting up porn vending machines in the UK, opening up Virgin-off - much like hard off except with ex-virgins - selling used condoms in Britain and discussing the prospects of sleeping with Mary-chan if she had a sex change. Topical debate all over a nice plate of katsu curry.

JC, house doctor

2005-10-11T07:06:00.000+09:00

Even though I have lived away from home for the last 6 years, somehow it always falls to me to redecorate the house. I have painted the kitchen, dining room, VP's room (Vicky Pollard aka Christina Chan), the flat above the shop, the hallway and landing twice and the living room twice.

This has meant that I have never felt the slightest inclination to redecorate my own room. It is still the same magnolia as when I first moved in. Now that I'm bored and unemployable and with time on my hands, what colour should I paint my room?

Off to the big smoke tomorrow to squander my time on an interview and schmoozing with recruiters. Will be back in Cullompton very soon no doubt.

Cullompton big thumbs up

2005-10-04T21:21:00.000+09:00

After a million hours sleep and travelling up and down from London over the past few weeks, I am happy to be home. Very strange.

Now, I have a question:
to be or not to be... a lesbian

After someone told me that they could imagine me being a lesbian more than one male friend to be gay, despite him really being gay, I discussed the possibility of my gayness with a few friends.

We concluded that I could very well be gay because:
a) I don't wear much make-up
b) I often wear jeans
c) I've never tried it

So, on my lesbian 'to-do' list as it were
a) Charlotte 'Ho' Church
b) Eva Herzigova

Ladies, if you are ever in Cullompton...

Cullompton sigh

2005-09-29T19:20:00.000+09:00

So, as you can see, I'm back in Devon.

Got in late last night after being cooped up on a sweaty bus - me not the coach - for 4 hours, listening to Paul recite "Can you speak Cantonese" over and over again in Chinese. This evidently proved to be a highly useful conversation starter/stopper with muvver.

Not much else to report except that my mother cooks the best Chinese food in the world - I was fed at 10pm last night - Paul sleeps a lot and I'm still unemployable.

:-(

London

2005-09-28T00:13:00.000+09:00

I've been in London for over a week now. I surmise that I am
a) unemployable - Easyinternet are trying to protect my feeelings by not letting me access my email account so I can't read any more rejections
b) I can waste a lot of time doing nothing
c) I spend more than 97p a day in London
d) It is possible to get tired of going out drinking

Back to Cullompton tomorrow; the girl weeps.

A new arrival

2005-09-14T21:10:00.000+09:00

A whole three days has elapsed and I have not blogged. You must all be wondering whether I got lost on my boozy outing or whether I've been offered an amazing job meaning that I had to swept toute de suite to some exotic location.

Alas, no. Just stayed on the down-low because my life's been incredibly dull.

Night out on Sunday was fun and as I haven't had a drink since coming back, I felt really poorly the next day. Still, I fought through the pain and somehow courageously managed to go shopping with my mother who kindly bought me 4 new tops. Cheers, mother.

Tuesday saw an arrival into the Chan household. Welcome Baby keitai (mobile). She is a most welcome addition into our home. If anyone wishes to send her any amusing words, then please feel free to do so.

a social life

2005-09-12T02:12:00.000+09:00

I feel like I'm 12 years old again and it's like, 45 minutes before the school disco. After a week of seeing no-one but my family and people on TV, I am actually going to be going out. I'm so excited. It's dead sad.

To those of you who have commented, thank you and sorry I'm replying in blog form. Mucchi - what's your address? I am so ketchi (stingy) at the moment. Didn't even have McDonald's for lunch because I thought it was too expensive. Mathieu, how much are you charging? I'm so bored, I'm seriously considering it. Baz, I talked to Ben the other day and I can't believe how big he sounds. Jess, I'm been eating delicious homecooked / takeaway food. It's magic when your parents own a Chinese take away.

Learning to touchtype at the moment so this has taken me ages to type. Hope you all appreciate this!

This morning :
muvver: want go out with me tomorrow?
me: hmmmmm, where to?
muvver: dunno
me: hmmmmmmmmm
muvver: how about Exeter? I'll take you shopping and buy you some new clothes.
me: (nonchalantly) yeah, why not.

Result.

Someone buy me a leotard

2005-09-09T09:04:00.000+09:00

Yesterday I sent my CV and covering letter to a wine company who were looking for an administrative assistant. I was quite pleased with myself as the deadline wasn't for a week but, unlike usual, I hadn't left it until the last minute.

This morning, I sign into my account to find a rejection from said wine company. This makes me wonder, how quick can you tell someone that you really don't want them?

Highlight of the day, my 15-year old sister taking me out of the house to teach me to rollerblade. 'Wohhhhhhhhh, bodyform, bodyformed for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu'. Coming to a women's hygiene commercial near you.

Total expenditure for the day: 0 pence. Yay!

Total expenditure for today...

2005-09-08T07:40:00.000+09:00

93p

One Guardian, one Express and Echo (gave in and looked at the local job section. It's bleak, ladies and gentlemen).

The most exciting thing that happened to me today...

2005-09-07T05:30:00.000+09:00

Being added to my dad's car insurance.

Wait for it...

I can now leave Cullompton. Yay! Tiverton here I come...

Oh God.

And so starts the deluge

2005-09-06T03:54:00.000+09:00

Got my first rejection this morning. I'm sure it's the first of many.
Applied for my first job since getting back. Let's see how it goes from here.

Went digging for clams this afternoon with my mother. There were 4 of us and we managed to get four massive buckets full of clams. Feel good for having left the house.

Increased my expenditure tenfold today. Spent £15 at the dentist just for a check up and polish. Extortionate.

My heinous trip from London to Devon

2005-09-04T21:55:00.000+09:00

There was a fatality on the tracks last week which meant that all trains out of Paddington were delayed. I was supposed to get the 14.05 which arrived at Tiverton Parkway from Paddington at 16.00

Instead I had to travel across London to Waterloo, catch a local train to Reading, then a train up to Bristol and then a Virgin train to Tiverton Parkway. Total time taken 6 and a half hours.

Japan Rail all is forgiven; and I didn't even train jump.

My parents live in a cash and carry

2005-09-04T21:53:00.000+09:00

Question:

Why do my parents feel the need to have 48 unopened toothbrushes in the house?

Answer:

Just in case 48 of our friends and relatives come and visit, and oh, forget their toothbrushes.

The highs and lows of Cullompton

2005-09-04T21:44:00.000+09:00

So, I've been back in Cullompton for four days and I've spent a grand total of £1.56 (Roughly 300 yen). Now on the one hand, it's a great thing that I'm spending minimal amounts as I'm going to be unemployed for a really long time - I've applied to 0 jobs - but on the other, it shows the sad state of my social life. I am officially a billy.

Highlights so far:

- parents still being nice and tolerating my mess (I'm waiting for them to turn)
- sleeping in a kingsize bed
- watching crap TV on E4 and then watching the crap repeats on E4 +1
- talking to my mates on the phone

Lows:

- stressing about what I want to do with my life
- having no friends within even driving distance
- my 7 half-opened boxes tripping me up every time I try and walk through my room

Interview

2005-09-01T04:10:00.000+09:00

Right, I came home earlier than planned because I had an interview with the JET desk in London. I was a bit of an idiot and somehow thought that the pay was only 14k a year, not great in London village, which meant I wasn't as genki (enthusiastic) as I could have been.

My sister pointed out my mistake - in fact it's 20k per annum - and unsurprisingly, I have not heard from the interviewer. Oh dear, 400 dollars wasted on a new plane ticket.

Back to the job section for me...

Scary truths

2005-08-30T07:39:00.000+09:00

I walked through the gates, hugged my sister and burst into tears. Yes, I'm back in the UK. (Angela, I swear that I don't normally cry as much as this). Finally arriving in London really meant the end of JET for me. The last two years are over and it's time to move on. sabishii ne?

Saying goodbye to Seth was hard. It seems so weird that I won't be seeing him any time I want and that it's going to cost me loads of money to hear his voice. At Syracuse airport, I was grateful that he was such a lanky boy as I turned back to wave at him all the way down to the gate. Seeing him at home and with his family was so different and showed me a lot more about him. It seems weird that he's not here for me to bother when I'm restless now.

I found one thing really weird about America. The way people always talk to you when you go into a shop. The first time someone asked me 'hi, how are you doing?' I had no idea what to say and just looked around to see if she was talking to me.

But, the weirdest thing is that I actually really liked the US. Shock-horror.
'

Relaxing

2005-08-27T12:54:00.000+09:00

I spent a few days at a lake near Seth's house. No running water and electricity from a generator. It was cool to get away from everything and be able to relax after all the business of leaving Japan and doing the trans-sib. Slept in a tent, went fishing, read "Brave New World", ate way too much, and played boardgames. Was so cool.

Came back to civilisation today and went to the NY State Fair. Saw so much food that I've only seen on TV before and found out after 20 something years what a twinky is.

Oh, had the biggest "small" ice cream in my life. Hint to all non-Americans visiting the US - go for the baby size!

Sorry I haven't been replying to comments etc. but I appreciate that you are reading this and am thinking of you all! Big kisses to you...mwah mwah...

Syracuse

2005-08-20T21:34:00.000+09:00

Arrived in Syracuse yesterday and the first thing I did was to run and vomit in the toilets. No, Syracuse did not render me ill, but the turbulence made my belly go wah wah.

Syracuse is very rural and the houses and especially the mailboxes are just like in the TV programmes. I was so surprised. Also learnt that the mailman comes and picks up your post to be posted, too. Whitney, Seth's sister told me that she used to sellotape the money to the letter and the postman would put a stamp on it for her.

Seth's family are really nice and they have a beautiful house. I'm so happy to be in a really comfy double bed. ii n janai?

Right, off to try the infamous Cracker Barrel and then a mall and Taco Bell for lunch. Forget about turning Japanese..

St. Petersburg is

2005-08-17T23:27:00.000+09:00

BUGGERING WINDY!

Ramblings

2005-08-15T22:27:00.000+09:00

I have had two days in Moscow and it is a thoroughly cool-ass city. It's dead pretty and St Basil's Cathedral is the porverbial dog's bollocks. I leave tonight for St Petersburg which is supposed to be even cooler than Moscow so I can't wait.

It feels really weird to be in Europe. I'm so close to home but feel so foreign because a) all the whiteys here speak Russian and I can't read cyrillic b) everybody is white!

Went to the ballet last night and watched the Nutcracker and went to the Kremlin today.

My crazy friend showed us all his 'meatballs' well, his veg if you catch my drift. Very odd talking to a lad when hids nads are nestled in his lap when you're just having a chat.

Moscow

2005-08-14T00:45:00.000+09:00

So, I did three nights on a train. After travelling across a whole map with the last leg being nearly 80 hours long, I reckon I can do anything now. It wasn't too bad, although we did miss the train. Seth had to CLING to the door as it was gathering speed and the conductor waited about 15 seconds before reluctantly pulling the emergency cord. Thank goodness or else we'd have been stuck in the arse end of nowhere for two days.

Will blog again. Hope everyone is well.

Siberia

2005-08-09T18:58:00.000+09:00

The border crossing between Mongolia and Russia took forever and we didn't move for 12 hours. Pure craziness. We randomly saw a school fete in a tiny Russian border town with some school children singing some R-pop. Strange.

It's amazing how quickly it turned from Asia to Europe. I am in Irkutsk now and it already feels really European. After Japan, I want to go up to every whitey I see and ask them what they are doing here. Of course, they'd probably have no idea what I was saying to them.

I swam in Lake Baikal yesterday and had a Russian banyan for the first time. Tomorrow, am on the train for three nights. We have met two other people who we're travelling with and the random thing is that all four of us are in different compartments on the train tomorrow. Weird!

2005-08-05T16:26:00.000+09:00

Mongolia is the most random country I have ever been to. The culture is a mix of asian / Russian and it's own, there are random people who walk around with phones you'd get in someone's home who are human roaming telephone boxes, the women are immaculately turned out like the J-folk whereas the men don't seem to care, and they have random traditional throat singing which sounds like they're gargling.

On the train tonight for 2 nights. Random provisions include baby food, pop tarts, mash potato for 1 in a pot a BLT sandwich.

Mongolian randomness is infectious.

Mongolia

2005-08-04T16:39:00.000+09:00

Am at the central square in Ulanbaatar. We spent about 30 hours on a train and ate some minging food which was just all beef gristle and onions.

Last night we stayed in a ger which was interesting as the insects were dead noisy.

I rode a horse for a first time today. When I say rode I mean sat on top of whilst a man led me around by the reins as I freaked out every time the horse remotely moved. My arse is sore now.

Monkey-ing

2005-08-01T21:37:00.000+09:00

Today has been a rollercoaster of a day emotionally. Cried about 50 times it seems and once was in the middle of town where I was literally wailing like a baby. Yokunai ne.

Went to see the "monkey" today about the trans-siberian. It's weird. We board at 7.40am tomorrow and it's all going to happen. Feels dead strange and real. I can still remember when I was going crazy trying to fill in the form. Now I have a "monkey" T-shirt for my troubles and a million pot noodles.

Happiest point of today: getting my metal cup with lid and magnetic spoon. So ready to tranzip now, baby!

China

2005-07-31T19:11:00.000+09:00

I apologise to anyone I alarmed last week i.e. my family. I am not dead. I didn't have regular access to the internet which makes it even harder to keep in touch with people, especially when you're as crap as me.

I arrived in China 2 hours ago after a 24 hour train journey from HK. Not exactly thrilling although I did catch up on some very important Marie Claire reading, eating pot ramen (noodles) and 12 hours of sleep.

It was dead hard saying goodbye to Kilby in HK. I really feel like I have left Japan and I feel stranded and lost. I hope that I will feel better when Seth gets here in a couple of hours :-)

HK

2005-07-29T17:03:00.000+09:00

I'm in HK and it's all been good so far. Haven't been too sad yet as it feels like I'm on holiday. Will be weird when Kilby goes back to Japan and I'm on the train to Beijing. FOund out that the train was for 24 hours yesterday. Bugger.

Going to watch 7 Swords today. Staying in Kowloon which is dead weird as I don't know this side at all and it's so different to HK island.

HOpe you are all well and am missing all of you in Japan soooooooooooooo much.

Sayonara nippon

2005-07-27T16:29:00.000+09:00

I'm sat in HK airport and it's all a bit surreal. I left Yamaguchi this morning at 4.45am. I can't believe I've left japan forever. Am sad, shell-shocked, in disbelief, and numb.

Last night in my flat

2005-07-22T23:58:00.000+09:00

It's the last night in my flat and I'm having mixed feelings. I'm so happy that I have finished packing and cleaning. My flat is beautifully clean and was finished ahead of schedule so managed to fit in some karaoke with Mucchi and Laura tonight. I have a few things still hanging over my head, but all in all, I'm pretty much ready to leave.

It feels a bit like when I finished my finals at university. It will be so weird to go shopping tomorrow morning. After a months of cleaning, packing and rushing around, I've forgotten what it feels like to just mong around.

I applied for a job in connection with JET on Wednesday. I heard from the lady yesterday which you would think would be a positive sign. But, she was asking when I'd be back in England. The job starts on the 1st September and I don't get back until the 8th. Arse. Yeah, so she replied saying that they don't do telephone interviews and that she'd be in touch if the job is still available when I get back. Bugger.

Yeah, so you see, sad, happy, at a loss, annoyed, frustrated, lonely, odd.

My car

2005-07-22T13:25:00.000+09:00

As I write, Toby's adoption is in process. The paperwork is being filed and from 4pm today, he will no longer be mine.

お疲れ様でした、トービ君！

最後だ。

2005-07-21T14:01:00.000+09:00

Today is a monumental day.

It's my last day in kencho and my last day working in Japan. Plus, I get my last pay packet today. I am officially unemployed from tomorrow.

Weird.

it's only 9am but...

2005-07-20T09:13:00.000+09:00

I've been up for what seems like hours. I was determined to be good and drive home last night. Obviously, that lasted all of two minutes and I ended up drunk at Seth's at 1am after the party yesterday. My keitai (mobile phone) died on me so I had to ask Seth to set his alarm for 6.30am. But, I didn't really recognise the alarm this morning so just rolled back over.

At 7am I woke with a start and made Seth drive me to my car at Golden Bowl. I then pegged it to Yamaguchi where I ended up having loads of time. I left for work and then realised I had left my speech at home. So I had to turn the car around to get it.

Got to school with time to spare, did my speech and all was good. 40 minutes after getting to school, I'm sat back at home - I do have to go back in for ESS (English club) though.

I just feel like a zombie.

Off to do more fecking cleaning and packing.

Houfu Soubetsukai (farewell party)

2005-07-20T00:53:00.000+09:00

I said goodbye to many people I love today. It was hard as people left at different times so it meant I was constantly in tears. There was some laughter of course, especially when Youko grabbed her head and said, "Landi's tits, Landi's tits" - meaning Landi's tits were the same size as her head.

I know that not many people from Houfu read my blog (although I did find out that Fujimoto-sensei does now - gambatte, Fujimoto-sensei), but to those of you who do, thank you so much for making me a part of your life these past two years. I am genuinely sad to be leaving you.

Tim and Youko-chan, thank you for looking after me when I first came
Mucchi and Tim, thank you for feeding me so much in Yamaguchi
Satoru, thank you for being my otou-san and ashi-kun
Fujimoto-sensei, thank you for all your guidance and for being a friend
Laura-chan, thank you for sharing so many firsts with me

Right, I'm off to cry myself to sleep, the big woos.

Worked like a bandit

2005-07-19T00:31:00.000+09:00

I had two meals today. Spartan for me and boy, did I earn them.

Spent about 5 hours packing and tidying in the day and then joy of joy, lucked out and found out it was moenai-gomi day (non-burnable rubbish). So, spent 3 hours sorting through all my rubbish and got rid of so much stuff. I just had sweat pouring off me. Nice.

I'm knackered but am just soooooooooooooo happy that it's one less problem off my mind. I was starting to worry about all the junk lying around.

Otsukaresama-deshita, Monsieur, le voyeur.

Mucchi and Tim's Wedding

2005-07-18T14:05:00.000+09:00

No, not Tim that never leaves Hofu. He's little Tim. Big Tim got married.

So I went to my first Japanese wedding yesterday. I decided at 10.30am that my work dress wasn't good enough so I made a dash for the shops. I was supposed to be at Hofu Tenmangu at 12.30pm. I'm such a dumbass.

The wedding was so cool. My mate, Mucchi had on all the traditional clothes and was having so much trouble walking. Felt really bad for her because she looked liked she'd been rolled in a white sleeping bag and left to flail about in the sun.

The reception was a lot more emotional than a western wedding. Lots of speeches and stuff and crying all over the shop. The mothers were given bears that weighed the same as Mucchi and Tim did at birth. Think that bit sent Laura over the edge a bit.

Mucchi looked beautiful. It was strange though because she was acting all demure. I expected her to shout out, 'So fucking hot' at any moment.

4 more parties to go.

Tori-chan

2005-07-17T02:54:00.000+09:00

This one's for you, Tori-chan.

The Final Stretch

2005-07-17T02:47:00.000+09:00

I'm tired.

I had a farewell party last night, Tori's leaving do tonight, Mucchi and Tim's wedding tomorrow, packing and cleaning Monday, a farewell party in Hofu on Tuesday, a farewell party with work on Wednesday... it goes on.

I just feel like tonight is the big deep breath before I go under water and the world becomes all cloggy and blurry before I emerge again on the 27th with my bags at Fukuoka.

I could open a shop

2005-07-16T10:40:00.000+09:00

This is a summary of my J wares I have to take home:

2 ornamental fans
2 sets of yukata
3 pairs of geta
an assortment of pottery
Yamaguchi dolls
shodo set
taiko drumsticks
Children's Day ornamental dolls
a Hello Kitty lamp

Thank you, Japan.

2005-07-14T18:37:00.000+09:00

Said goodbye to another school today and got a lovely yukata as a sayonara gift. I got genuinely choked at the end of ESS today because I'll really miss the girls. I'm finding it more and more tiresome and draining to say goodbye to people.

Yes, it is sad that I'm leaving.
I'm taking the Trans-Mongolian home.
Yes, I know it's strange to get to St. Petersburg and then fly to America.
Watch TV and sit in my pyjamas.

Sorry, switched onto autopilot there for a minute.

Laura accused me of being sentimental today and maybe I am. But, I think the reason I boo so much is not so much because my schools are irreplaceble, it's more that saying goodbye to them is tangible evidence that my time here is running out like quicksand.

If I were a boy...

2005-07-13T23:57:00.000+09:00

If I were boy, what kind of willy would I have?

If I were a boy, I'd like to think I would have a mahoosive schlong.

But,

I think that if I were a boy,

my willy would be

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm not crazy. I was debating this with a friend.

What you chinpo is?

Parting gifts

2005-07-13T14:47:00.000+09:00

I got two gifts today.

One was a carefully hand-crafted plate, fired, glazed and painted with a profound message in beautifully written kanji complete with display stand by my teacher.

The second was a tub of vanilla ice cream from Lawson's.

I know which non-heavy present warmed my cockles...I'm so ungrateful.

Pathetic fallacy

2005-07-13T11:20:00.000+09:00

So the rain has kicked in. It's bleak and grey outside and it echoes my mood. I woke up this morning feeling groggy and confused as my schools have been changed round this week. Plus, it's my last day at this school so I had to get up earlier than usually to get to the teachers' meeting to do my speech.

As I was showering with my eyes closed - it burned to keep them open - I had a はじめて　(first), one week before leaving. For the first time since coming to Japan I couldn't wait to get out of the country. The thought of another two weeks of goodbyes, enkais, goodbyes, packing, goodbyes, cleaning, goodbyes, flogging my wares (easy, tigers), trying to see everyone before I go, goodbyes, giving speeches, goodbyes and more goodbyes just fills me with dread. It just turns me a nasty shade of 青 (blue).

The packing saga continues

2005-07-12T12:02:00.000+09:00

Jenny's secrets to packing

1) vacuum-pack all your clothes
2) put all your stuff in a big plastic bag befoe putting it into the box
3) stick newspaper in the small gaps so that stuff doesn't get damaged
4) put photos and their negatives in separate boxes in case a box goes missing
5) half all your stuff and put it in different boxes

I have either found my niche in life or I'm just anal.

Neal's mouth

2005-07-11T16:03:00.000+09:00

Oh, I forgot to say that when I pulled my fist out of Neal's mouth, it was covered in gross bubbling stuff. He swore that it was "spit" but I don't know.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Choose carefully the mouths in which you put your hands! Do not let me sacrifice be in vain.

I thank you.

Packing and school

2005-07-11T15:47:00.000+09:00

I said goodbye to my first school today. All the teachers except 1 walked me out to the front entrance. It was an awkward moment, worsened by the fact that I insisted on hugging each of them.

As I was driving out of the car park, the last teacher ran out in front of my car to say goodbye. I jumped out of the car and gave her a hug, too. Needless to say, it was fairly hairy driving down the hill through the blubbering fog.

*** *** ***

I suck at packing.

I had three half-packed boxes. After finishing work 3 hours ago, I have managed to:

Unpack one of the aforementioned and...
put half the contents into another box.

For those of you like me who aren't great with numbers, I have consulted a calculator and scientific ascertained that I now have four half-packed boxes.

At this rate, I'll be ready to move out on 23rd April 2006.

Weekend

2005-07-10T12:36:00.000+09:00

On Friday we had our Leavers' Ceremony.

And "Yeah, show me the money, baby yeah!!!!!!"

Bugger. Just erased all that I'd written...hate computers...

Anyway, so we got a wee bit of money and then I had to do a speech in J-go and English which was on TV apparently. I was dead nervous. The J-folk seemed to find it strange that I'd talked about squat toilets.

In the evening, we went to the Big Red lantern, Suzy Wong's (which is just like a bar at home), El's Ditch (the "Irish" pub), and then karaoke for 3 hours with nomihoudai (all you can drink). Yeah, got to bed around 4 am. zzzz

Saturday was another whirlwind of a day. Paul and I made, well, Paul made and I approved stuff, a CD of songs that our friends like to sing at karaoke and then we had to help assemble the JET magazine, zenzen. I was a dumbass because we were missing one page, so we went through all of them and couldn't find it. We then realised that I'd made a mistake and I'd said page 40 instead of 38.

Watched the Stars Wars episode 3. OH MY GOD! Leia and Luke are brother and sister!

In the evening, we had the leavers' party. I stuck my fist in Neal's mouth whilst Eleanor and Selene plugged his ears and nose. It was an experiment to see if he'd explode. Negative.
I found out I have to work on 3 things: numbers, irony and science.

I want all my friends to live in the same country and not move around.
Farewell parties - party cool, farewell suck-su

London bombings

2005-07-07T21:57:00.000+09:00

I have spent the evening watching BBC world news as the aftermath of the London bombings are being beamed across the globe.

I do not and will never understand what motivates terrorists to strike out against innocent people whom they have never met. Not only do they take away the lives of the victims, they also create a ripple effect which stretches out to family and friends.

I know the reasons why they do it; I just do not understand how they can do it.

Time warp

2005-07-07T00:23:00.000+09:00

So, as I said, I've discovered MSN and Skype. Tonight for the first time, I skyped my youngest sister, Chris oh, and Borat was there, too.

Things I learnt:

1) I can instant message two sisters, look at one via her webcam, talk to both but not have them reply because neither has a microphone, send dancing images, receive stuff from Paul straight into my hard drive and apply for a jo... yeah, actually didn't do that bit...all at the same time

and

2) My sister is actually nearly 16 and not 12

which begs the question, how long have I been away?

Fat bastard

2005-07-06T00:41:00.000+09:00

That's me.

I had two dinners tonight. I went to tanpopo and had miso soup, rice and ginger pork (teishoku - set dinner). Left the skank-mono. (Gross, pickled, multi-coloured stuff they always give you).

Then had cottage pie with broccoli, crisps and ice cream.

Gochisou-sama.

naughty gaijins

2005-07-04T16:05:00.000+09:00

A random party of 30 foreigners descended upon La Francesa on Saturday night. That in itself would have been a sight in the sleepy town of Yamaguchi, but the aforementioned foreigners were dressed in a shocking array of colours in traditional Japanese dress. This was followed by much drunken rowdiness in Murasaki and then karaoke.

Great fun for us, no so much for the J-folk.

Highlights of the evening for me:

Neal-sama swaggering in in his Sean Connery-style dressing gown
The waitress at poncy La Francesca looking aghast as Classy northerner, Tom-the-monkey-dancer-Rogers swigged back the remnants of a bottle of rouge as I was shooing him out
Random J-bloke swigging back a pint of chu-hai (alcopop) when I told him that for foreigners, it's the winner of any drinking game has to down the drink
Ichiro waking up, singing J-rap song, Shanghai Honey and then going back to sleep again
The rain - yeah, not so much

Butchering

2005-07-02T00:02:00.000+09:00

went out with Chris Butcher, Tom Butcher, Ree Butcher, Dan Butcher, Brucey Butcher and Reather Butcher tonight. Or rather, Chris invited me and then told we I could come if 'I really wanted to too'. To those of you staying, they are ABUNAI! (dangerous for my chickies at home).

Went to a restaurant near Shin Yamaguchi tonight. It's near the big hotel on the shinkansen side and has a green sign. It's a seafoody type place and it was spanking gorgeous, just like a pot noodle.

I should become a food critic and start a daily log although, it'd be like my blog except I'd get paid for it.

I have the wrong job.

My impediment

2005-06-30T20:53:00.000+09:00

Few people know this but I have an impediment. It was a defect from birth but little by little, I am slowly conquering it day by day.

I am a computer illiterate.

But last night, I took a massive step and used skype for the first time. Not only did I use the thing which let's you see what the other person wants to say in like a nanosecond, I also spoke at my computer and heard a voice coming from within. Now, tonight I used MSN for the first time. What with the blog and everything, I have quadrupled the icons on my desktop. (Only had the dustbin before).

I find that I am only chatting with a person called 'borat' on skype and someone with a vietnamese sounding name on msn...

ok, so it's my sister.

Rainy season my arse

2005-06-29T20:48:00.000+09:00

It's meant to be rainy season but it's rained like, twice in a month. This means that it's unbearably muggy and sauna-like and I've been using my air-conditioner a lot. Now I've got one of those awful air-con colds where you've spent too much time switching back and forth from hot to cold.

We made shortbread with English club today. Whilst we were waiting for the biscuits to bake, I started to have a coughing fit, one of those which only a glass of water will fix. Unfortunately, I got to the sink with my glass too late and started dry heaving into it instead.

Now, that's what a proper English club should be like, the ALT convulsing in the back, kids sat struck mute with embarassment and the JTE gone to get some green tea for our 'traditional' afternoon tea.

I went to another restaurant today. Gohei near Jolly Pasta on route 9. Big thumbs up.

The final countdown

2005-06-28T23:29:00.000+09:00

Right, so I stopped moping about and got my arse in gear. In the middle of packing two boxes which means that there's brown tape, newspapers and scissors all over the shop. Bit abunai as often the scissors are hidden under the newspapers. Well at least it makes packing a bit more exciting.

My end of June resolution is to try a new eaterie in Yuda every week from now on. As I only have 3 weeks left, that only makes three more places. Maybe not quite as prolific as I would have liked, but still better than a month ago.

Tonight I went to Mahoro (or something like that) and it was dead good. The food was new-style Japanese and the restaurant wrapped around a foot onsen. All very chic; and kinda gross in a I-don't-wanna-see-people-washing-their-feet-whilst-I'm-eating kinda way.

I am morose

2005-06-27T14:01:00.000+09:00

It's a beautiful, muggy day and I don't have to be at work for another hour even though it's 2 pm and yet, I am sad.

I am sad because I have to leave Japan.
I am sad because after I leave, I won't see all the friends I have made here gathered altogether again any time soon.
I am sad because I have to go home and watch Trisha in my jammies.
I am sad because no-one in Cullompton will understand how my life has been for the past two years.
I am sad because I have no job to go home to.
I am sad because this part of my life is over and it will never happen again.
I am sad because I'll have to travel for 3 hours to get the nearest kaitenzushi and then pay at least £2.50 for 2 pieces.
I am sad because my Japanese will only get worse from now.
I am sad because I am so scared.

Drink = Delicious food and a sleep strike

2005-06-26T17:33:00.000+09:00

To all of you who went to the Kylie and Pirates party (not quite the same ring as Kylie and Jason), I hope you had a good time.

I couldn't make it because I had taiko practice which in the end was cancelled. Ann and I decided to have people round for dinner and the plan was for me to go after practice. Thankfully it was, as when Jamie, Eleanor, Neal and Laura came round, I was up to my elbows in negi and uncooked chicken. It was hairy for a minute and we had my hotplate and my nabe pot out at one point, but we got everything done only 1 hour late. Go team slow!

Got everything transported to Ann's who served up her mains at 12am! As she herself concluded, maybe the reason why everyone thinks she's a great cook is because we're always so pissed when it's served up.

10 years ago, on an 18 hour school bus trip to Austria we were subjected to watching all three Star Wars videos back to back. In protest I conducted a 'sleep strike' and slept through all of them. Consequently, I have never seen any Star Wars movies. Jamie has taken it upon himself to enlighten me and today, I watched the first two (chronologically) before the release of the third on the 9th.

And in my humble opinion? I wanna light-sabre! They're bloody cool...oh, and the second one's a pile a shite.

Seeking JTE with GSOH

2005-06-24T18:28:00.000+09:00

So starts the teachers' training conference for another year. I kicked it off with a speech on 'Reflections on language learning', indeed as scintillating as it sounds.

I always forget that there are non-J teachers out there. No, I'm not talking about ALTs but actually, JTEs who have a sense of humour and aren't afraid of showing it publicly.

At last year's conference, one JTE (Japanese teacher of English) wrote about the magic box in his kitchen. He'd call out that he was hungry and then food would be prepared. He'd call out that he was thirsty and a drink would be prepared. The magic box was indeed his mother... no smut please...

At this year's conference a JTE talked about her quest for her better half. She'd decided long ago that J-men were too boring and so began her search for a foreign man to marry. It started with a homestay when she was a JHS student (like secondary school). Batsu (no good). She tried again in Korea. She failed. She's now applying to become a student in the US. Good luck to her.

Memory-loss

2005-06-23T23:31:00.000+09:00

So, much of Tuesday night is a big blur, but fortunately, I have Christophe to remind of numerous things that happened. The funniest by far was when Ann, Yoskiaki, Yukiko, Yamane-san (my boss), Christophe and I went to karaoke. Yamane was about to start a song when Christophe belted out, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yamane in the fucking house' to which Yamane replied, 'Shit, wha'?' Now I don't know which one of those two bad-asses I'd be more scared to meet down a dark alley.

Just watched Totoro and mei-chan is super kawaiiiiiiiii. I want to eat her. Munch munch munch...

Ohayo gozaimasu...but not too loudly

2005-06-22T10:23:00.000+09:00

As you can probably imagine, I'm sat here with a Berocca and trying to piece together what future embarassment I subjected myself to last night...

It's always dangerous to write when you're pissed...

2005-06-22T02:11:00.000+09:00

ok so I'm going to write from now as if I weren't...

OK so today, I had a massively long (JET) day. I taught four cooking classes and then an English classe which soundns crap on papper but in reality is a pain in the arse. I',m too drunk to convince you. So anyway, then I went to a what you ma call it and go ttoo drunk and somew=how. against my etter judgement, I managed to get everyomne to go to whatyoumaclal it and we sang too mcuh, especially mw as I sang sngs I din''t evenn know. maybe this isn;t that iteresting but it'll be funy b=for me tomorrow ehn I read I wrote now...